Sunday, March 13, 2011

Movie Review: I Am Number Four

Well, I will get the most important thing out of the way first. I have nothing good to say about this movie. In fact, I disagree with this movie and all like it on a base level. Call me pretentious, but I seriously dislike these Hollywood blockbuster types. That is not to say I don't enjoy all "mainstream" movies that come out, but for the love of all that is holy, at least attempt to have some semblance of a good script! This movie cannot decide between being a coming-of-age story or a fast paced action flick and in the end falls terribly short of either one, making the end product seem rushed. The main plot involves the titular 'Number Four' and his gradual awakening to his powers while being pursued by your cookie-cutter bad guys who want to end his life for reasons that while reasonably explained, are made moot seconds by the very same explanation. Long story short, the bad guys want to kill him because they are a race of genocidal warriors and he is one of the surviving members of a race they had wiped out years back. The problem with this is, if they already destroyed his home planet, why not just take out the whole Earth and get it over with? They had 16-17 years before his powers surfaced and thus was able to take them on, why not end all life on Earth and move along? But, that is just one of the many problems with this movie.
Another issue I have with it is it's predictability. Anyone who enjoys going to movies often will have no problem guessing what happens next in this movie. It's like a roller coaster, it moves fast, it has pretty stuff to keep you distracted every now and again, but it's very linear and you know where it's all gonna end. And while we're on the topic of moving fast, might as well talk about the character development. Since I would like to avoid spoiling any 'big' plot developments, all I will say is that the film handles the death of central figures very sloppily. They come out of the blue and fail to tug at your heartstrings entirely because the film failed to help you establish an emotional connection to that/those character(s). Hell, some characters you are shown the whole movie in tiny snippets, with no real display of their personality, and then bust in as if they've been there the whole time. Also, the special effects aren't all that good.
Now, to finish on a slightly positive note, the action scenes were pretty fast paced and broke the monotony now and then; plus, for all the moot points in their motives, the villains were fun to watch on scene, and the boy's guardian's(Timothy Olyphant) facial expressions in some scenes were priceless. And lastly, it made me sad that such a good set of songs were used on such a subpar movie. In fact, if there was only one good thing about all of this, it was the soundtrack. I would gladly justify my $5.75 as being paid to listen to The Black Keys, The xx, Jimmy Eat World, and other Great/Good/Nice artists with movie theater speakers, because honestly, this movie left a sour taste in my mouth.
And so, I close my review with these words: I Am Number Four is a very predictable film with some mildly entertaining fight scenes and some rather good and/or lulzy acting, despite the terrible script. Being as neutral as I can, I'd give it a 6/10, but personally, I say 4/10, because the few lulzy scenes/facial expressions/other don't really justify bumping up it's score.
P.S. : Fuck you, Michael Bay, just, fuck you.
P.P.S. :Seriously, eat shit and die.

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