DREAM: New Year! 2011 Review

DREAM: New Year! 2011

2012 is finally here!  In Japan, the welcoming of a new year means only one thing.  Fights!  Thus, DREAM's new year's shows always combine MMA, Kickboxing and Pro-Wrestling in order to really bring a huge show for the fans.  Entertainment is the name of the game and there are some really entertaining names in this show's card.  Japanese stalwarts Kazushi Sakuraba, Shinya Aoki, and Kazuyuki Fujita, along with big names like Fedor Emelianenko, and Bibiano Fernandes will make this an interesting show.

MMA

Hideo Tokoro vs Yusup Saadulaev

 

What a start for this show!  Tokoro started fast and furious with a jumping knee but this only allowed Saadulaev to grab Tokoro's back and slam him head first into the mat which instantly knocked Tokoro out cold.  You never like to see someone get hurt, but that was a hardcore slam.  This makes Yusup Saadulaev a reserve for the Bantamweight Grand Prix which will be decided on that night.

Winner: Yusup Saadulaev by KO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUKzsMQn0BY

MMA

Masakazu Imanari vs Antonio Banuelos

After the start of the show, this fight was an incredible borefest.  Imanari has incredibly dangerous submissions and especially leg locks, but his really unorthodox style doesn't lend itself to entertaining fights but to entertaining moments.  At the end of the second round, Imanari got a hold of Banuelos' leg and was able to sweep him even after not doing much for the rest of the fight.  Banuelos did enough to get through to the final without any real damage.

Winner: Antonio Banuelos by Split Decision (one judge was smoking some strong shit!)

MMA

Bibiano Fernandes vs Rodolfo Marques

The battle of the Brazilians for the last spot in the Batamweight Grand Prix finals was pretty slow.  Fernandes was able to get a hold of Marques and kept him down for most of the fight.  Nothing too special came out of this except that Fernandes moves on to the finals to face Banuelos which should be an entertaining fight.

Winner: Bibiano Fernandes by Unanimous Decision

K-1

Kengo Sonoda vs Masaaki Noiri

It's good to see some old school kickboxing.  Noiri sort of coasted through the first two rounds and then he really turned it up in the third with some pretty head kicks and devastating leg kicks.  Good stuff.

Winner: Masaaki Noiri by Unanimous Decision

K-1

Nils Widlund vs Yuta Kubo

Apparently Yuta Kubo is the big player out of Japan in the world of K-1.  You would never have imagined it by looking at him.  

He can kick with the best of them though as I saw it through the gradual destruction of Swede Nils Widlund.  Kubo seemed to be playing around with Widlund during the first two rounds, with some mean looking jabs and some hardcore head kicks.  During the third round, Kubo just went after the finish.  Widlund was already tired and Kubo connected with a vicious head kick that wobbled Widlund and eventually sent him down to not get up by the ten count.  This kid, as goofy as he looks, is quite impressive.

Winner: Yuta Kubo by KO

There is a pretty lengthy intermission at this time, so HDNet has some footage from past shows to keep us entertained during the break.

The first is a fight between Minowaman and Sokoudjou during the final of the Super Hulk tournament.  Minowaman looked and looked for the submission during the first two rounds while Sokoudjou mostly hammered him.  Then, in the third round, they spent a whole 3 minutes doing absolutely nothing.  Two yellow cards (warnings for not fighting) were given out to each fighter. And all of a sudden, Minowaman connected with a right hand that sent Sokoudjou to the ground.  That was a weird fight.

So we are back for more fights!

MMA

Hayato 'Mach' Sakurai vs Ryo Chonan

These two are friends from way back.  Chonan beat Sakurai back in the days where MMA was pretty young through a cut and they are looking to see who will be the better of the two now.  The first two rounds were controlled by Sakurai even though there really wasn't much going on.  Chonan, sensing that it was two rounds to Sakurai, tightened up his striking and hit him with some stiff punches.  Chonan went for a flying knee at the same time as Mach went for a double leg and Mach was able to take him down and keep him there for the rest of the round.  If only Chonan would have fought this way for the whole fight...

Winner: Hayato 'Mach' Sakurai by Unanimous Decision

MMA

Kazuyuki Miyata vs Tatsuya Kawajiri

I'm a big fan of Kawajiri, so I'm looking forward to this fight.  Kawajiri was a monster in this fight.  He controlled the first round easily and eventually was able to get the arm triangle.  Crusher was better at what Miyata is best as, so the outcome was pretty simple.  Takedown, control and then go for the arm and the head.  Win number 30th for Kawajiri was a quite impressive one.

Winner: Tatsuya 'Crusher' Kawajiri by Submission

MMA

Karla Benitez vs Megumi Fujii

How impressive is Megumi Fujii.  I had never seen her fight before and she is probably the most skilled woman in MMA.  Fujii quickly went for the takedown and while Benitez was able to drop down and trap Fujii under her, it wasn't long before Fujii used her arms and legs to sweep Benitez and snap on an arm bar.  Skillful stuff.  Check her out.  She is a tiny little thing and while she probably couldn't beat someone like Cristianne Cyborg, but that is mostly because of the size difference and not because of her skill set.

Winner: Megumi Fujii by Submission

Pro-Wrestling

Hideki Suzuki vs Josh Barnett

I would have rather seen Barnett in an actual MMA fan, as I am not a big fan of Antonio Inoki's IGF, but I'm hopeful that this will at least be an entertaining bout.  I don't really get all the rules of IGF, but I guess there are no closed fists but every other strike is allowed and there is a 10 count for someone who gets knocked out.  It's weird.  While it was kinda sloppy, there were some pretty nice spots here and the whole pseudo-MMA thing makes for suplexes to look pretty kickass.  Barnett got a couple of them right.

Winner: Josh Barnett by Pinfall

Here we go to another intermission where the fight is Alistair Overeem against Todd Duffee.  I think we have an idea how this ends.  Overeem in 20 seconds.  After that, we also got Overeem versus Kazujiki Fujita.  That one ended quickly as well.  I'm sure Alistair will be able to destroy Brock Lesnar as well.

After all of this, the second half of the show began with Antonio Inoki and the most bizarre segment ever.  While he was talking to the crowd, three men wearing turbans.  Tiger Jeet Singh, someone who looked a lot like former WWE wrestler Mark Copani (Muhammad Hassan) and some other dude came to the ring.  Hassan hit Inoki with a kendo stick, Singh apologized profusely and they just left... what the hell!

Mixed Rules

Katsunori Kikuno vs Yuichiro Nagashima

First things first... Nagashima dresses like a girl.  Cosplaying as a girl before a fight... I will never understand these Japanese people... weird as hell.  Then, the Mixed rules is also weird.  The first round will be three minutes and will be K-1 rules.  The second round will be 5 minutes under DREAM rules and if there is no finish, the fight ends in a draw.  This first round was worth the whole time I've spent on this.  These two fighters traded shot after shot.  Kikuno was able to dominate for most of the round, leaving him dazed and wobbly.  Nagashima was able to land one shot on Kikuno that sent him down to the ground.  The second round was less frantic, both guys were pretty tired by then.  Kikuno was able to get Nagashima's back, take him down and then pound the side of his head relentlessly for the win.

Winner: Katsunori Kikuno by TKO

This wasn't what he was wearing, but it was a dress... and he had a little backpack...

MMA

Bantamweight Grand Prix Finals

Bibiano Fernandes vs Antonio Banuelos

This was an interesting matchup and the fight was looking to have some fireworks.  Unfortunately, Banuelos tripped going backwards and Fernandes just pounced on him relentlessly.  The ground and pound from Banuelos was just nasty and the referee couldn't do anything but stop the fight.  So, Bibiano Fernandes becomes the DREAM Bantamweight Grand Prix Champion

Winner: Bibiano Fernandes by TKO

Pro-Wrestling

Jerome Le Banner vs Tim Sylvia

I hate Tim Sylvia.  I thought he was the most boring champion ever.  And those sideburns?  Ugh.  Anyways, if I didn't care for him as an MMAer, I don't see how this will be any better unless Le Banner destroys him.  Tim Sylvia did get destroyed, but what the hell is this.  Its not MMA and its not really pro-wrestling.  Its a boring hybrid.  Almost like a choreographed fight scene in a movie, except without all the skill.

Winner: Jerome Le Banner by TKO

Pro-Wrestling

Peter Aerts vs Kazuyuki Fujita

Another of those weird matches.  Have to say, it was cool to see Fujita again in the ring.  Aerts hit him with a couple of solid shots to the body and to the head.  Fujita then went a heel and stomped Aerts around until he got him in a Boston Crab.

Winner: Kazuyuki Fujita by Submission

Pro-Wrestling

Katsuyori Shibata and Kazushi Sakuraba vs Shinichi Suzukawa and Atsushi Sawada

This was one hell of a hot mess.  Terrible stuff all around.  This style looks so sloppy its not even funny.  Don't really want to talk about this crapfest.

Winner: Shibata and Sakuraba by Submission

MMA

DREAM Featherweight Title Match

Takeshi Inoue vs Hiroyuki Takaya (c)

Finally back to MMA.  What a disappointing fight.  Inoue ran for the whole five rounds and it just seemed like he wanted to be anywhere but in that ring.  It was just a sad sight.  When you see a fight, the loser always gets some respect for giving it a shot and trying his hardest to win.  Not here.  It was disrespectful.  Takaya worked the whole fight and was active and got the better strikes and takedowns.

Winner: Hiroyuki Takaya by Unanimous Decision 

MMA

DREAM Lightweight Title Match

Satoru Kitaoka vs Shinya Aoki (c)

Kitaoka is a very good grappler, but Aoki is hailed by some as the best submission expert in MMA right now.  He has certainly amassed a nice highlight reel of submissions.  The first round had Kitaoka grab a quick guillotine but Aoki turned it quickly into a triangle choke which Kitaoka was able to get out of.  Aoki controlled the whole second round on the ground even though he really didn't go for any submissions.  The rest of the fight was more of the same.

Winner: Shinya Aoki by Unanimous Decision

MMA

Fedor Emelianenko vs Satoshi Ishii

The Last Emperor is back!  And with a bang!  Ishii looked like he was terrified to be in the ring with Fedor, and with reason.  Fedor just destroyed him with strikes.  He looked devastatingly accurate and strong and it was good to see him like this instead of being beaten by Werdum and Silva.  Fedor sadly suffered the curse of the Age of the Big Ass Heavyweights.  Before, people like Dan Henderson and Wanderlei Silva would fight against heavyweights without any problems, but none of those guys can really handle the new wave of heavyweights like Brock Lesnar, Alistair Overeem, Cain Velasquez, etc.  They are just too big.  It is good to see Fedor back to his winning ways, and even smiling.

Winner: Fedor Emelianenko by KO

Every time Fedor smiles, a hundred people are cured of cancer.

Conclusion: This was a marathon show.  Clocking a full 9 hours on my DVR, this was a marathon to get through.  With kickboxing, pro wrestling and MMA, the fans in Japan definitely got their moneys worth.  While the pro wrestling bouts were pretty sloppy and boring, most of the K-1 and MMA fights were pretty good (except Inoue...).  We got some nasty KOs in Fedor, Kubo and the nasty Saadulaev slam KO.  Some nice submissions from Fujii and Kawajiri, and we also got the slugfest between Kikuno and Nagashima.  It's a good thing that the old year is left behind with some fights.  Now, I need to watch UFC 141!

6.5 out of 10

0.15 steps above the last - Assassin's Creed: Revelations

Assassin's Creed is a rare breed of game, I'm not sure if anyone has ever pulled of the one-game-a-year formula any better. But it's not like each game is miles above the previous installment; it feels more like adding an extra floor than making a new building, but it's such a nice addition to an already great place though.

The fourth installment (which is actually more like 2.3) is titled Revelations, which is more or less hinting at the idea that Altair and Ezio's stories will finally be rounded up and we can really move on to the meat of this story, and I really hope this is the case. Gamers have put up with Desmond going back and forth long enough, it's about time that he put on the hidden blades himself and took the fight to the Templars instead of running from them.

With that said, Revelations doesn't exactly pick up where Brotherhood left off, kinda, it's hard to explain. In the Desmond timeline, it does, the Animus has broken shattered Desmond's mind leaving him trapped inside his own little virtual world. He struggles to put his existence back together and reclaim his own identity. Sound confusing? That's because it really is. And this is where the story lacks. In the previous installments I looked forward to the Desmond portions of the game, but in this case they seem watered down, probably because of the change of environment, the familiar characters are barely voices Desmond overhears in his comatose state, making them seem distant at best. What makes matters worse is the fact that they were so pivotal to the previous game's cliffhanger ending. I was expecting a play by play of what happened after the last story ended, but what I got were barely the Cliff-notes.

The Desmond portions are also hindered by one of the two horrible new in game mechanics. When Desmond goes further into is consciousness to rebuild his reality the game for some reason switches into this absurd first person view and throws in some of the most annoying platforming puzzles I've ever seen. The controls are horrible, Desmond is granted the ability create little white platforms directly in front of him. He then climbs on to them to get to the next area. These sections are also plagued by some of the most boring narration in the series so far. Sure, we find out about Desmond's past, which has been a mystery so far, but it should have been done in a much less torturous way. And considering that this is what substitutes the amazingly fun puzzle solving of previous entries, it's a shame.

The ancestor parts are much more enjoyable, but not without it's letdowns. Once again, you assume control of the hooded assassin Ezio, this time a much older man, much removed from his prime. The problem is, he's still capable of everything he was last time you controlled him. I think this was a huge wasted opportunity. I mean, Metal Gear Solid 4 proved that using an old man can be an interesting dynamic to add to a video game, and I sincerely feel that ACR could have benefited greatly to more changes to the play style. Ezio's age seems to be nothing more than a superficial change, kind of like a character skin.

Also back in the mix is Altair, whom you assume control of for several occasions, filling in the rest of his life. These parts are actually very cool, story heavy sections. They quickly became the sections I looked forward to the most. Creative storytelling is implemented nicely and it actually does keep you invested. Oddly enough by the end of these sequences Altair is over one hundred years old, and age is implemented very well here. He almost reminds me of Yoda at the end of Attack Of The Clones.

Unfortunately, most of the time is spent as Ezio, completing a main quest that almost feels like side missions once you consider how irrelevant it is to what's really going on. I won't even go into what the story entails, the game basically tells you, to get to what you really want to do you need to do this shit first. And it just feels like busy work. Once it all boils down to the bare bones, it's a filler game. Ubisoft wanted to finish Ezio and Altair's stories so we could move on once and for all... I hope.

The gameplay is almost identical to Brotherhood, except for the locale change. Other than that, the additions of bomb crafting and the hook-blade are nice distractions but they barely merit a whole new game. It feels like a bit of an upgrade but it's nothing spectacular. I went through most of the game without using a single bomb, and they can be fun, but not really necessary. The zipline system is quite useful, when you can find one, mostly because you can only use ones that you can zip down from; and trust me, nothing is more frustrating than fleeing from a fight and finding a zipline just to realize you're at the wrong end of it.

The other awkward gameplay decision is the new tower defense mode that happens when one of your bases is under Templar attack. It's pretty bad. You kinda get thrown into the first one by surprise, and it's barely explained. The weirdest part is that they're almost optional. You never have to do it for a second time if you can keep your notoriety down. It's like the developers know how bad it is and they gave you the chance to skip it altogether. Smart move.

This game is without a doubt a filler story. Ubisoft needed to tie lose ends before moving on to the next big thing. The problem is that I don't think it needed a whole new game. This could have been shortened and been downloadable content. I still give Ubisoft all the credit in the world, this is still  a good game, it does what Brotherhood did well, it just stumbled in other areas. And the fact that it got made in a year is amazing, I just wouldn't mind waiting two years so we can fix all those little issues.

6/10

The Fall TV Review Post: An Early Look (Part IV)

Last part of my look at the new shows.  Hopefully you found something you liked and might not have watched other wise...

Ringer (CW)

It's been a while since we last saw Sarah Michelle Gellar in her own television show.  The iconic Buffy the Vampire Slayer star is back for a show in CW called Ringer.  She plays Bridget, a woman trying to get her life back together.  That is, until she is the witness of a professional hit.  She escapes and seeks shelter in New York City were twin sister Siobhan resides in a great apartment, with a great marriage and what is seemingly the perfect life.  Until her sister disappears in open sea and Bridget takes on the personality of her sister in order to escape from the people that are after her.  Thing is, her sister is also in trouble.  Yeah, the premise is pretty bad and the show is also pretty bad.  I have to admit, I was only able to stomach the Pilot and it was pretty terrible.  It looked bad and the acting was dreadful... especially from Gellar.  Now, I don't know why I expect different from CW shows, but most of them end up disappointing me.  The exception to this rule is, of course, Supernatural.  I have read that it has gotten better after the Pilot, but I'm not giving this a second chance just yet.  There are many other things I'd prefer to waste my time on than this.

Recommendation: Unwatchable

   

Suburgatory (ABC)

I have to admit that when I saw the poster and then read the blurb for this show, I was immediately uninteresting.  Another show about people from the city moving to the suburbs/country/farm/whatever where they obviously don't belong.  In this case, the father/daughter duo of George and Tessa played by Jeremy Sisto and Jane Levy move to a place where fake boobs, fake smiles and makeup abound.  I didn't really want to see this show, but actually found myself enjoying it.  You can draw parallels with other high school movies where the lead is out of her element like Mean Girls or Easy A.  This show has something of the latter in it.  Jane Levy is cute and likeable while also being witty and a cynic at times.  Sisto also does a good job at being the single dad completely out of place in the suburbs.  They probably could have gotten someone better to play the bitch at school.  Charly Chaikin is pretty bad.  Cheryl Hines is pretty great at playing the annoying Dallas.  Alan Tudyk as Sisto's incredibly rich friend is also pretty good.  This is not a great show, by any means, but its a fun show.

Recommendation: Casual Watch 

The Secret Circle (CW)

 

So, the CW seems to be churning out teen fantasy left and right.  It's too bad that the only worthwhile series from the CW is Supernatural.  The CW already has demons and vampires, so it was obvious that witches is what was left.  Apparently, the parents of a group of kids were witches and now their sons and daughters have gained the powers of the parents.  Sadly, the kids are too interested in each others love lives and whatnot.  The characters here are just completely uninteresting.  Of course, the Twilight/Vampire Diaries crowd will probably eat this up for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but not me.  It was pretty hard to listen to the stilted dialogue and the idea that all witches seem to be emo for some reason or another.  Even the father of one of the witches has a haircut that 16 year old with a penchant for self mutilation and screamo would die for.

Recommendation: Unwatchable

American Horror Story (FX)

 

And then came this little number to freak us the fuck out when we least expected it.  Horror is not really a genre that is well represented in today's tv landscape.  Now, I have only been able to see the Pilot, so that is what I am going to base this recommendation on, but I didn't need to see much more to know that I wanted to see more of this.  The show stars Dylan McDermott and Connie Britton as Ben and Vivien Harmon.  Together with their daughter, Violet (Taissa Farmiga), they move to Los Angeles to start a new life after the wife finds her husband cheating on her.  More of the secrets of the family are revealed in the pilot, but instead of answering any questions you might have had, you only have more questions.  There are a host of creepy characters that pop up during the episode that really make the show creepy.  If it was only the dark side of the family that we saw, it would get old fast, but for example, the maid is incredibly interesting especially because it is not explained (once you see the episode you will understand what I mean).  The Harmon's are not just the run of the mill wrong place and wrong time victims.  These characters are deeply flawed and damaged.  I look forward to seeing what the show will bring to the table.  And to those complaining because of its content, stop trying to regulate what other people watch...   

Recommendation: Definite Watch

 

 

Person of Interest (CBS)

 

Probably one of the shows with the most hype around them for this group of new shows and its easy to know why.  With a cast like this one, people will take notice.  James Caveziel goes from playing Christ to playing an ex-CIA hit man who teams up with a scientist, played by the always creepy Michael Emerson (of Lost fame).  Harold Finch (Emerson) creates a machine that predicts when a terrorist act is about to happen.  He found out that this technology also predicted whenever other random acts of violence would occur.  The premise is a lot like the movie Minority Report, but the characters get more time to be fleshed out and become interesting as we see sequences of how Reese (Caveziel) became a hit man.  The side story with Taraji P. Henson as a police detective in her search of the vigilante which is obviously Reese, need more fleshing out but its still an interesting show.

Recommendation: Definite Watch

A Gifted Man (CBS)

This show has also gotten some good reviews.  I mostly disagree with them.  It deals with Dr. Michael Holt (Patrick Wilson), a surgeon who recently lost his wife and now she sort of gives him advice from 'beyond'.  It's not a new premise or anything, but the show has a fatal flaw that the shows with self-centered main characters have to deal with... Dr. Holt is unlikable.  Even just watching the first few minutes, I knew I didn't like him.  I guess that might be the point of the show, but is it?  Shows have been trying to emulate the House formula and been failing because no other character is as likable and cheerable as Dr. House.  While some have tried and succeeded, this one has failed.  I guess I will give it a little chance to convince me, but the whole mystical hocus pocus crap around it makes me not want to do it.

Recommendation: Casual Watch

Netflix Reviews #7

I get the chance to watch a couple of movies I was looking forward to.  The newest Kevin Smith movie, The newest X-Men installment and Lars von Trier's Melancholia.

 

X-Men: First Class

I have to admit it.  I expected this movie to be pretty bad.  But the truth is that if you think about it, there shouldn't have been any expectations for this movie to be any good.  X-Men: The Last Stand and X-Men Origins: Wolverine went from the ridiculously bad to the incredibly mediocre.  They both lacked what this movie had in spades.  A great director, fantastic actors with things to prove, and an emphasis on ambiance and character development.  Let me also say that Matthew Vaughn still hasn't made a movie I didn't enjoy (Stardust, Layer Cake, Kick-Ass) .  The other X-Men movies always felt like a mutant catwalk.  The 'let's see how many mutants we can get in the movie' mentality hurt them immensely.  Here we have a lot of humans, but we kind of feel like we know them all and begin to care about them (at least the good guys... the bad guys are another story).  The story is one that any fan of the X-Men is partially familiar with.  Eric Lehnsherr is a young Jewish boy during World War II.  He and his parents are taken to a concentration camp where his powers to manipulate magnetic fields are released.  There is also a young genius called Charles Xavier.  He is a telepath and an expert of various fields of science.  These are the main characters and their relationship drives the whole film.  James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender are fantastic actors and they really showed them here.  Both of them have charismatic personalities but they both are destined to be enemies by the cards that each was dealt by the universe.  There is also the really interesting plot point of Mystique and Beast and their relationship.  So as not to spoil anything, let me just say that you should watch movies.  It's not only a really good superhero movie, but a good movie overall.

8.5 out of 10

 

Paul

I was looking forward to this movie.  Superbad and Adventureland director Greg Mottola knows how to make a funny movie.  This time he had the help of one of my favorite comedic duos from the other side of the pond.  Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are the kings of the buddy movies.  They tackled zombies and crazy cultists and now they are on a trip of the UFO sites across the US.  Here they meet a bunch of different characters, especially the extraterrestrial Paul voiced by Seth Rogen, who is being followed by "the government".  It is a funny tale of friendship and camaraderie.  It's nothing out of the ordinary, but I think they did well in the use of the alien.  And the voice of Seth Rogen fit him perfectly well.

7.5 out of 10

    

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

Terry Gilliam has always been a wondrously imaginative director.  From his hilarious comedies (Monty Python and the Holy Grail) to his darker looks at humans and humanity (Brazil and Tideland), to his more well known films like Twelve Monkeys and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Gilliam always knows how to take something that might be just interesting and turn up to the oomph degree.  This movie is a little bit hard to explain, so I'm not going to even try.  Let's just say that Doctor Parnassus (played by the always awesome Christopher Plummer) is looking for people to enter his Imaginarium (in a way, it is his own mind).  Along with his faithful daughter Valentina (Lily Cole), his "adopted" son Anton (Andrew Garfield), and old friend Percy (Verne Troyer), they discover that Tony (Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell) has an ability to attract people to the Imaginarium as well as having a very secret past.  Obviously that is only part of this very confusing tale.  This movie is most well known as being the last movie Heath Ledger was in before he passed away.  His performance wasn't done, so the filmmakers called on three of the top actors to play the same character in different dream sequences.  I think they did well with this gimmick and its a good homage to Ledger that the movie was still released while keeping his part in it (which is really good).  Besides the amazing imagery and visuals, the acting is what keeps the movie interesting.  All the actors do a really good job.  I especially enjoyed Tom Waits as Mr. Nick, one of the villains in the film.  This movie is not without its flaws, but its interesting enough to keep me watching.

7 out of 10

     

Red State

I take religious extremism very seriously.  It is a disgrace that people still murder each other because they think differently about some imaginary being that there is no evidence exists.  Either way, this movie was not at all what I expected.  Kevin Smith is well known for his hilarious comedies full of memorable characters and fantastic dialogue.  This is not like any of his movies so far.  It's not a comedy and it's just something I didn't expect at all.  A group of teens find this horny older woman that is willing to have sex with them online.  Little did they know that she was a member of a cultish church not unlike the Westboro Baptist Church that has been on the news (except for the killing and the guns... yet).  What happens after, I'll let you find out.  While the cast has some interesting names, especially Academy Award winner Melissa Leo and John Goodman, the shining light of the whole thing is Michael Parks as the head of the church, Abin Cooper.  There is a charisma that surrounds him that is easy to see but hard to define.  The words that come out of his mouth are vile and hateful, but they all hang on every word and every song and every smile the old man deals them.  This guy is freaking scary.  I'm not sure I liked the final discussion of the movie between federal agents, and it seemed like an unnecessary way to end the movie.  It has a lot of crazy talk, a lot of shooting and it is definitely something new from Kevin Smith.  It's always interesting to see filmmakers move out of their comfort zones.  That said, this is not a masterpiece or anything like that.

6 out of 10

 

Melancholia

This is one of the hardest movies to rate that I have seen all year.  I was looking forward to this movie and thanks to HDNet Movies, I was able to check it out before it arrived at Netflix.  Lars von Trier has always gotten a bad rap for being pretentious for pretentiousness sake and for going so far out of bounds that some people just can't stomach or handle it (see: Antichrist).  This movie is pretentious.  This is not a movie that everyone will enjoy and truthfully, I didn't enjoy it at times.  There is something about it though that deserves to be noticed and watched.  Whether the fantastic performances by all the actors involved or the magnificent cinematography coupled with the grand score.  While it reminded me a little bit of a movie I hated (The Tree of Life), there is something about this film that drew me in.  Kirsten Dunst plays Justine, she just got married with Michael (True Blood's Alexander Skarsgård) and the first part of the movie is their wedding.  Michael is happy but Justine seems to be in a downward spiral of depression.  You can immediately see that her family is not normal by any means.  Her parents, played by John Hurt and Charlotte Rampling show a little bit of the disfunctionality that Justine and her sister Claire probably went through.  Claire is played by Charlotte Gainsbourg and once again she shows exactly why she won the Best Actress award in 2009 at Cannes.  Claire is married to John (Kiefer Sutherland), and they seem to be a partly happy couple.  That is until we get to the second half of the movie that deals mostly with Justine's catatonic state, Claire's utter fear that the planet Melancholia will destroy the Earth and John's obsession with this blue ball in the sky.  This is a story of depression and what it can do to the mind of a person.  It is also a look into the end of the world through von Trier's eyes.  If you get a chance to see it, you should, just because it is an experience unlike most of what's out there.  If only just for the performances.

6 out of 10 

 

The Fall TV Review Post: An Early Look (Part III)

More and more shows... this seems freaking endless!  Let's see what this part brings.  One really funny show, two shows that want to be funny but mostly fail and Rachel Bilson in hicktown...  Not the best of the lot...

Whitney (NBC)

Whitney Cummings seems to be this years darling comedienne.  She stars here in her own sitcom as she tries to rekindle her love with boyfriend of 5 years played by Chris D'Elia.  I first saw Cummings in the Roast of David Hasselhoff and while she was funny, she wasn't anything really special.  Then I decided to watch her stand up to see if she was better doing stand up.  Money Shot was okay, but there is something about her delivery that I really can't stand.  Her voice is so high sometimes that I can't really stand it.  It makes watching her sort of a chore.  Also, the way she laughs at her jokes is pretty lame.  The show is not much different from most of her stuff, except for Chris D'Elia.  Most of the time he has this look of pure confounded ignorance about everything that is going on that you hardly even notice he is on the show.  Also, her friends are idiots and his friend is a jackass.  Nothing really worthwhile here.

Recommendation: Unwatchable 



 

 2 Broke Girls (CBS)

Whitney Cummings rears her head here once more but this time, not seeing her at all helps the show ten fold.  She co-created it.  Kat Dennings plays a broke and down on her luck waitress slash babysitter and Beth Behrs is Caroline, an ex-millionaire whose father got arrested for stealing money.  The two make an interesting couple.  One is the perennial cynic who does what she has to do to get by, even if it means stunting her emotions.  The other is the girl who has always had everything given to her and now has to get by waitressing.  There is a cast of characters that are pretty funny.  Jonathan Kite as Oleg is pretty hilarious as he does the pervert routine to perfection.  Matthew Moy plays Han Lee, the owner of the establishment.  He is incredibly likeable as he tries to be hip and cool.  My favorite character is Earl played awesomely by Garrett Morris.  He's the one that handles the cash register and also has all the awesome lines.  If you watch it, just wait for his parts and laugh as much as you can.  The good thing about this show is the dynamic between the two girls.  They seem to be able to play off of each other perfectly.  Check it out.

Recommendation: Definitely Watchable

   

Prime Suspect (NBC)

Maria Bello has always been an actress that you can count on when you need an actioner female lead.  She just has a swagger about her that makes you feel like she will probably kick a lot of ass.  Here, she not only has to face the challenges of the criminals on the streets, but also a misogynist police department and even her boyfriend's ex.  At the start of the 1990s, Helen Mirren played a hard nosed detective in a series of the same name.  Those are some tall shoes to fill.  Bello is up to the task though.  The cast are all pretty good actors that do a good job in making Bello's Jane Timoney feel completely out of place.  She does her best work when she is out of place and questioned at every turn.  Now, this show is not the most ground breaking of its kind.  Not by a long shot.  But if you are like me and you enjoy detective shows, then you should check this out for a few episodes and see if you like it.

Recommendation: Casual Watch

 

 Last Man Standing (ABC)

Tim Allen returns to ABC.  That's the way they chose to sell this sitcom.  I don't think Allen has been relevant in a long time.  Before this, he appeared in a bunch of incredibly terrible movies for kids.  Zoom, The Shaggy Dog and Santa Claus 3 immediately come to mind.  He was made famous on TV and so to TV he returns after such a long time.  The show has Allen playing Mike Baxter, one of these hunters, outdoorsy types who just want to win no matter the consequences and don't mind emotionally scarring people who they think are weaker than they are... so he plays a Republican in this show.  Thing is, he has three daughters with completely contrasting personalities.  Kristin (Alexandra Krosney) is the older daughter that has to work at a diner in order to support her son.  Mandy (Molly Ephraim) is the airhead of the group.  Eve (Kaitlyn Dever) is the youngest and the tomboy.  The show is based on their interactions when it comes to everyday family life.  While its a funny show at times, there are places where they try to have some sort of social commentary and it sort of fails.  If they are going to keep doing that, they need to work on making the commentary worthwhile instead of just a bad joke and off to the next one.  I guess it's worth a chance.

Recommendation: Casual Watch

  

 

Hart of Dixie (CW)

I was loathing the moment I had to watch the slew of CW shows that seem unbearable to me.  One of them is this one.  When I heard the premise, I groaned.  When I watched it, I groaned.  Rachel Bilson stars as Dr. Zoe Hart (I know... a little farfetched methinks).  She is apparently this hard city girl with her future completely planned.  She wants to be a surgeon like her absentee father.  Her mother is not much better than dad, either.  She doesn't get the fellowship she wanted and thought she deserved because she was too insensitive or something.  So she decides to go to some small town in the middle of Alabama.  This show reminded me a lot of a show that I would never admit to liking (Everwood), except that it lacks everything that made that show any good.  Likeable characters.  There is nothing new here, she has to win over the people of this town who are so different from her and become a more sensitive doctor in order to be a better surgeon.  It's just a tried premise with an actress that doesn't really inspire confidence or any likability.

Recommendation: Unwatchable

Free Agents (NBC)

I like Hank Azaria.  I've always found him funny and likable.  This show sort of sucked the life out of Azaria and he gave us a character that was just plain vanilla.  Two co-workers that recently lost their partners (in one way or another) end up sleeping together and that is the premise.  The show is a remake of a British show and I guess this one wasn't much of a hit for the audiences as it is already cancelled.  There is just nothing memorable about this show.  It's just flat.  Probably the only cool thing about it is the guy who plays the boss.  Anthony Head reprises the role he used to play in the original British show and he is funny.

Recommendation: Unwatchable/Cancelled