Review: WWE TLC 2012

*clap clap clap*

Kudos to the WWE for pulling off such an entertaining rollercoaster PPV event. WWE Tables, Ladders and Chairs was a pay-per-view that could have easily been mediocre, but ended up being one of the more entertaining shows of the year.

First off, the low-key but tasteful tribute to the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School was welcome, considering the events of that day happened in the WWE's corporate backyard.

Opening match of the night: Rhodes Scholars vs Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio (#1 Contender's Table Match):

Definitely a great way to start the PPV, a nice seesaw match that surprisingly enough saw almost next to no botches from Sin Cara, what a miracle! Cody Rhodes pushing Sin Cara off of the ropes after attempting to springboard unto Damien Sandow and watching Sin Cara crash through the table to end the match, priceless! Screw you Power Ranger wannabe!

Winner: Rhodes Scholars

Match #2: Antonio Cesaro vs R-Truth (U.S. Title match):

*wakes up from the sound of his own snoring*

I apologize. I must’ve given you the impression that the match was just pointless filler? It was. Please bring back some measure of prestige to the U.S. Championship or unify it with the Intercontinental title. That being said, Cesaro is a great talent that deserves a better push; let’s see what the WWE creative team has in store for him in 2013.

Winner: Antonio Cesaro

Match #3: Kofi Kingston vs Wade Barrett (Intercontinental Title match):

Another snoozer mid-card match with a pointless rivalry that has completely stopped dead in the water. Hopefully this will be the last we hear of this; hopefully for 2013 the powers-that-be will put some actual moxie behind the mid-card division. So much wasted talent needs to be molded, but there is definite potential there to be exploited. Let’s just hope 2013 is the year of change we have all been hoping for.


Winner: Kofi Kingston


CM Punk getting injured was, in my opinion, one of the best things that could've happened at this time, believe it or not, as we are nearing the very crucial juncture that is Wrestlemania season. The Royal Rumble is nearly upon us, and that one event will set the tone for the rest of 2013. Unfortunately, that is a topic for another post, let's stick with TLC 2012 for now.

Why do I bring up CM Punk's knee injury? Simple. His absence from the spotlight gave way to what could easily have been the match of the evening; a match that I am sure will live in infamy for quite some time:


Match #4: Ryback and Team Hell No vs The Shield (Tables, Ladders and Chairs match):

I felt goosebumps as I went back in time to the Attitude Era while watching the match. WWE definitely hit a homerun in holding back The Shield's actual in-ring debut for this PPV, because trust me, sparks flew when these three hombres hit the ring. All six participants gave it their all and easily won the crowd over. If this is any indication of the direction which WWE intends on taking for 2013, then we are in for one hell of a ride. And yes, hopefully Vince McMahon will give Seth Rollins a well-deserved Christmas bonus for that amazing fall he took last night!


Winner: The Shield


Match #5: Eve vs Naomi (Divas Championship):

Bathroom break.

All kidding aside (well, kind of), Naomi put on quite the display from her NXT days, but, it’s all for naught. We all know the Divas Division is just WWE’s way of giving everyone a bathroom break after awesome matches.


Winner: Eve


Match #6: Big Show vs Sheamus (World Heavyweight Championship Chair Match):

I expected so much more. It was nowhere near as good as their match at Hell in a Cell, but this was a decent match to add to their rivalry. I actually thought Sheamus was going to get his revenge and take the title, but they are going to roll with Big Show a little longer. The rivalry is kind of up in the air at the moment, so we shall see if WWE will drop the ball on this one. If this is the end, who challenges for the title next? If Sheamus is done with Show, what does he do after this? I think these are all good questions. I think they can get another match out of Show/Sheamus until it comes time to cash in the Money In The Bank, but I'm fine with this rivalry ending this way.


Winner: Big Show


Match #7: The Miz, Alberto del Rio and the Brooklyn Brawler vs 3MB:

One of the surprises that I did not see coming was Alberto del Rio’s face turn at this PPV. Yes, it’s been rumored for some time, but actually seeing it with my own two eyes was a welcome change of pace. And yes, that's right. Out of everybody available in the back, they pick the Brooklyn Brawler as the third man in this impromptu filler match. Now, even though I can see people complaining about this, I actually got a chuckle out of this. Come on, it's the Brawler fighting in his hometown. The greatest jobber in WWE history gets his Christmas bonus. A passing of the torch, if you will, one jobber to the next generation of jobbers. Very fitting indeed.


Winner: The Miz, Alberto del Rio and the Brooklyn Brawler


Final match of the night: John Cena vs Dolph Ziggler (Money In The Bank Ladder Match):

What started off as a routine match soon became quite the spectacle, a match that I had no idea Cena and Ziggler had in them. From eye injuries to Cena lifting Ziggler up in the air complete with ladder hunched on his shoulders, this match was beyond entertaining, which is more than I expected from these two. The crowd was beyond vocal, the energy was off the charts, and without a doubt one of the out-of-the-blue heel turns ever occurred when at one point Vicki Guerrero goes to interfere in the match, gets pounded by AJ, and then when everyone expects Cena to climb up the ladder to regain the MITB, AJ simply knocks over the ladder. With Cena stumbling down, Ziggler with a confused look on his face, and AJ doing her usual psychochick shtick, Ziggler quickly climbs up the ladder for the win, retaining his Money In The Bank contract.


Winner: Dolph Ziggler


All in all, I thought this was a pretty fun show. I'll admit that it wasn't perfect since some matches did drag. The first hour of the show didn't feel very memorable, but I didn't think it was that bad. I really think the tables match got the PPV to a good start, but those two mid-card title matches were pretty boring to watch. Everything picked back up with that Tables, Ladders and Chairs match and I think the evening continued to be on par for the rest of the night until the main event. This night featured some good wrestling AND good storyline development. We are left with a lot more questions than answers after tonight. Why did AJ screw over Cena? What will Vicki do now that AJ is apparently allied with Dolph? What is in store for The Shield after this? How will WWE continue to make The Shield a formidable foe? When will Dolph cash in the Money In The Bank? What do Big Show and Sheamus do after tonight? Alberto del Rio as a face? All these make the upcoming Monday Night Raw more intriguing. If I have to give WWE TLC 2012 a score between 1-10 and 5 being average, I'll give this an 8 out of 10. A great way to end the year folks, see you all at the Royal Rumble 2013!

WrestleMania XXVIII: Falling Short, With Style

Can we talk wrestling on The Shit Is Dead? Well, it matters to me, so the answer is YES.

Another year, another WrestleMania. It's been 14 years since I've been following wrestling religiously. My first WM was WretleMania 14; Stone Cold vs HBK with Mike Tyson as the special enforcer. Feels like forever ago. The product has changed, it seems like the target audience has as well. But with the return of The Rock, it looks like they're once again trying to give us back the Attitude Era. To me, it doesn't seem like the best idea, I have my reasons, but let's see how it turned out:

The Buildup:
The buildup to Mania this year revolved around John Cena and his yearlong feud with The Rock who seemingly has made his long awaited return to the world of wrestling. Obviously Mr. Johnson got the top billing he deserves, but unfortunately he's not exactly back full time, so for a year of buildup Cena ended up with a lot of pointless opponents (that shitty Kane feud comes to mind) while he waited around for Dwane to show up. For a whole year we waited for Rocky to finish filming his movies and doing his promotional tours, and what we ended up with seemed a bit underwhelming to me. We got a month of back and forth face to face banter between the two, and a shitty tag match at last year's Survivor Series. I would have liked more brawling, make the feud personal. As much as they told us how important this match was, it wasn't important enough to make Cena or Rock throw the first blow, they seemed content to just talk at each other for a year, which in the wacky world of wrestling seems highly unlikely.

The other match everyone was looking forward to was the "end of an era" match in the Hell In A Cell between Triple H and The Undertaker. If the cell wasn't enough to sweeten that deal we also got Shawn Michaels in there as the special guest referee. I was much more excited for this match than the main event. Predictable as it has become, I expect nothing short of spectacular from Taker's "Mania Streak Matches", especially the last couple of years. The buildup to this was exactly what you'd expect: meaningful, personal back and forth promos that blur the line between what's real and what's scripted. And the fans ate it up to a point where I dare say this was just as anticipated as the main event.

A couple of years ago it surprised me when neither title seemed as important as other matches on the card, but at this point it feels like the norm. This year the big title match was without a doubt CM Punk against Chris Jericho. Two of my personal favorites facing in their first big match. I say that because they have gone at it before, just never with any build or anything big on the line. The WWE Championship might be playing second fiddle to the big matches at Mania, but don't let that fool you, these two could very well steal the show.

Of course, the World Heavyweight Championship was also on the line at Mania with Bryan Danielson Daniel Bryan defending against Sheamus in a match that should have happened last year at WMXVII for the US Title, but was kept on the pre-show and then turned into a shitty lumberjack match last minute. These two have a lot to prove, and a lot to live up to.


The Event:
The show kicks off with what seemed like a metric fuckton of pyro that when on longer than the actual first match of the show. I had a feeling we'd be getting it first, and we did...

World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan - 
This match was pretty much pointless. I take that back, it wasn't pointless, I think it showed the WWE brass that DB is connecting to the fans. Bryan was ridiculously over with the crowd, 'Yes' signs everywhere, 'Yes' chants the whole time. It saddened me to know that Sheamus was going over no matter how hot the crowd was for Bryan.

As soon as Bryan turns around he gets hit with one of Sheamus' twelve finishers, the Brogue Kick, and that's all she wrote for Daniel Bryan's title reign. Quite the shame, especially when I'm sure pointless matches will get more time later on the card. I'm sure these two could deliver an above average match. As a matter of fact, I'm willing to say that Daniel Bryan could have a good match with anyone on the WWE roster if given proper time to work. But we moving on.

Kane vs. Randy Orton
Why wasn't this match the opener? I really don't get it. WWE needs to learn never to have their champions jerk the curtain, especially when you have a pointless grudge match to follow it up.

These two seemed to phone it in for Mania, which makes no sense to me. The pace was slow and it had very few surprises. The only shock was at the very end of the match when Kane actually picked up a clean win over Orton with a less than stellar looking Chokeslam off the top rope.

Intercontinental Championship: Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes
Believe it or not, I kind of enjoyed the build to this match. Rhodes has really progressed as a character and as a worker in the past year and his mocking of Show for his failures at WrestleMania was actually pretty entertaining.

With that said, this is still a Big Slow match.

It wasn't bad, just not a Mania caliber match. Show finally gets his win at the big show (pun totally intended) and picks up the IC Championship for the first time.

Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos vs. Beth Phoenix and Eve
I'll give Maria Menounos all the credit in the world, she got in there and did her thing. Was it any good? No. Should she have gotten the win? No. But she did anyways. Meh.

Hell In A Cell: The Undertaker vs. Triple H, with Shawn Michaels as the Special Guest Referee 
I was genuinely surprised how early on the card this happened. To most people, this has become Mania's number one attraction. The Streak has become the biggest thing in wrestling, and every year the WWE does it's best to convince us that they've got the guy who's going to end it. Year after year, come Mania, I become a skeptic once again, yet Taker keeps proving me wrong.

Trips and Taker stole the show, by a landslide. I felt sorry for The Rock and John Cena, not as much for Punk and Y2J, those two can hold their own.

This match told a great story, the Cell wasn't even necessary. It was almost like the cage was there just to protect the audience from these two throwing shit out of the ring. HBK still has some of the greatest reactions in the biz, his faces were pivotal. The other thing that helped this match was the fact that Jim Ross was calling the action (I really hate Michael Cole and Booker T as announcers). They even let them bleed (slightly) to my surprise.

When it comes to technical wrestling though, it wasn't a masterpiece. It was more of a brawl, but that's what it was meant to be. One of those rare cases where the wrestling gets overshadowed by the story and what the match actually means.

Of course, The Streak remains intact. I never really expected Trips to end it, but I will admit he made me jump out of my seat a couple of times. Hell of a match.

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy
This match replaced the Money In The Bank Match, it had every noteworthy wrestler on contract thrown in for no reason. Instead of hyping up the talent, they decided to show off the General Managers of both Raw and Smackdown, which is as smart as smart as having an entertainment reporter wrestle a match.

Nothing special. Team Johnny gets the win making him the GM of both shows. Oh joy.

WWE Championship: CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho
Who truly is the Best In The World? That's a tough one to call, but it was the tagline in this match. And honestly, it lived up. What Taker and Trips did for storytelling, these two did for flat out wrestling. Good ring physiology  and know how.

The finish to this match had most on the edge of their seat with each wrestler countering the others submission move. Finally, Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice to force the tapout and retain his title.

Depending on your preference, this could have easily been match of the night.

The Rock vs. John Cena
I wish I felt sorry for these two, but I saw this coming.

This match was a huge flop in my book. They gassed way too fast, the crowd was worn out from the other awesome matches, and over all the match just wasn't all that good.

As big a star as he is, Cena simply isn't that great a worker. To express it more accurately, he's as good as whoever he's wrestling. If he we're wrestling The Rock back in 2002, this could have been awesome. What we got was ring rust, and lots of it. Rocky botched a couple of big moves that definitely cost the match, and the crowd was so dead that they didn't really care. Sure, they popped for the finish, but it felt more like a mercy cheer.

Yes, Rock went over. And as happy as I should be about that it just doesn't make sense to me. If Rock is going on another one of his 'vacations', why have him go over someone whom you get to keep? I think this was the moment for a character change from Cena, leading to a victory. I'm not saying full blown heel turn, just a modification. Maybe some rougher tactics.

Unfortunately the way I look at it the year long hype came back to bite the WWE in their giant corporate ass. The main event paled in comparison to both Taker/Trips and Punk/Jericho.

My Impression:
Two matches don't make a card, no matter how good they are. We got a lot more shit on this card than we did good. And the main event fell flatter than Scotty Goldman's gimmic. On top of that, eight matches for a four hour show is laughable, I didn't cover any of the shit backstage segments because they shouldn't even be on the show, keep that shit on Raw.

While it was better than the past couple of WrestleManias, it's nowhere near the best one ever, no matter what Michael Cole tells you.

4.5/10