Monday, December 17, 2012

Review: WWE TLC 2012






*clap clap clap*

Kudos to the WWE for pulling off such an entertaining rollercoaster PPV event. WWE Tables, Ladders and Chairs was a pay-per-view that could have easily been mediocre, but ended up being one of the more entertaining shows of the year.

First off, the low-key but tasteful tribute to the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School was welcome, considering the events of that day happened in the WWE's corporate backyard.

Opening match of the night: Rhodes Scholars vs Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio (#1 Contender's Table Match):

Definitely a great way to start the PPV, a nice seesaw match that surprisingly enough saw almost next to no botches from Sin Cara, what a miracle! Cody Rhodes pushing Sin Cara off of the ropes after attempting to springboard unto Damien Sandow and watching Sin Cara crash through the table to end the match, priceless! Screw you Power Ranger wannabe!


Winner: Rhodes Scholars

Match #2: Antonio Cesaro vs R-Truth (U.S. Title match):

*wakes up from the sound of his own snoring*

I apologize. I must’ve given you the impression that the match was just pointless filler? It was. Please bring back some measure of prestige to the U.S. Championship or unify it with the Intercontinental title. That being said, Cesaro is a great talent that deserves a better push; let’s see what the WWE creative team has in store for him in 2013.

Winner: Antonio Cesaro

Match #3: Kofi Kingston vs Wade Barrett (Intercontinental Title match):

Another snoozer mid-card match with a pointless rivalry that has completely stopped dead in the water. Hopefully this will be the last we hear of this; hopefully for 2013 the powers-that-be will put some actual moxie behind the mid-card division. So much wasted talent needs to be molded, but there is definite potential there to be exploited. Let’s just hope 2013 is the year of change we have all been hoping for.


Winner: Kofi Kingston


CM Punk getting injured was, in my opinion, one of the best things that could've happened at this time, believe it or not, as we are nearing the very crucial juncture that is Wrestlemania season. The Royal Rumble is nearly upon us, and that one event will set the tone for the rest of 2013. Unfortunately, that is a topic for another post, let's stick with TLC 2012 for now.

Why do I bring up CM Punk's knee injury? Simple. His absence from the spotlight gave way to what could easily have been the match of the evening; a match that I am sure will live in infamy for quite some time:


Match #4: Ryback and Team Hell No vs The Shield (Tables, Ladders and Chairs match):

I felt goosebumps as I went back in time to the Attitude Era while watching the match. WWE definitely hit a homerun in holding back The Shield's actual in-ring debut for this PPV, because trust me, sparks flew when these three hombres hit the ring. All six participants gave it their all and easily won the crowd over. If this is any indication of the direction which WWE intends on taking for 2013, then we are in for one hell of a ride. And yes, hopefully Vince McMahon will give Seth Rollins a well-deserved Christmas bonus for that amazing fall he took last night!


Winner: The Shield


Match #5: Eve vs Naomi (Divas Championship):

Bathroom break.

All kidding aside (well, kind of), Naomi put on quite the display from her NXT days, but, it’s all for naught. We all know the Divas Division is just WWE’s way of giving everyone a bathroom break after awesome matches.


Winner: Eve


Match #6: Big Show vs Sheamus (World Heavyweight Championship Chair Match):

I expected so much more. It was nowhere near as good as their match at Hell in a Cell, but this was a decent match to add to their rivalry. I actually thought Sheamus was going to get his revenge and take the title, but they are going to roll with Big Show a little longer. The rivalry is kind of up in the air at the moment, so we shall see if WWE will drop the ball on this one. If this is the end, who challenges for the title next? If Sheamus is done with Show, what does he do after this? I think these are all good questions. I think they can get another match out of Show/Sheamus until it comes time to cash in the Money In The Bank, but I'm fine with this rivalry ending this way.


Winner: Big Show


Match #7: The Miz, Alberto del Rio and the Brooklyn Brawler vs 3MB:

One of the surprises that I did not see coming was Alberto del Rio’s face turn at this PPV. Yes, it’s been rumored for some time, but actually seeing it with my own two eyes was a welcome change of pace. And yes, that's right. Out of everybody available in the back, they pick the Brooklyn Brawler as the third man in this impromptu filler match. Now, even though I can see people complaining about this, I actually got a chuckle out of this. Come on, it's the Brawler fighting in his hometown. The greatest jobber in WWE history gets his Christmas bonus. A passing of the torch, if you will, one jobber to the next generation of jobbers. Very fitting indeed.


Winner: The Miz, Alberto del Rio and the Brooklyn Brawler


Final match of the night: John Cena vs Dolph Ziggler (Money In The Bank Ladder Match):

What started off as a routine match soon became quite the spectacle, a match that I had no idea Cena and Ziggler had in them. From eye injuries to Cena lifting Ziggler up in the air complete with ladder hunched on his shoulders, this match was beyond entertaining, which is more than I expected from these two. The crowd was beyond vocal, the energy was off the charts, and without a doubt one of the out-of-the-blue heel turns ever occurred when at one point Vicki Guerrero goes to interfere in the match, gets pounded by AJ, and then when everyone expects Cena to climb up the ladder to regain the MITB, AJ simply knocks over the ladder. With Cena stumbling down, Ziggler with a confused look on his face, and AJ doing her usual psychochick shtick, Ziggler quickly climbs up the ladder for the win, retaining his Money In The Bank contract.


Winner: Dolph Ziggler


All in all, I thought this was a pretty fun show. I'll admit that it wasn't perfect since some matches did drag. The first hour of the show didn't feel very memorable, but I didn't think it was that bad. I really think the tables match got the PPV to a good start, but those two mid-card title matches were pretty boring to watch. Everything picked back up with that Tables, Ladders and Chairs match and I think the evening continued to be on par for the rest of the night until the main event. This night featured some good wrestling AND good storyline development. We are left with a lot more questions than answers after tonight. Why did AJ screw over Cena? What will Vicki do now that AJ is apparently allied with Dolph? What is in store for The Shield after this? How will WWE continue to make The Shield a formidable foe? When will Dolph cash in the Money In The Bank? What do Big Show and Sheamus do after tonight? Alberto del Rio as a face? All these make the upcoming Monday Night Raw more intriguing. If I have to give WWE TLC 2012 a score between 1-10 and 5 being average, I'll give this an 8 out of 10. A great way to end the year folks, see you all at the Royal Rumble 2013!

Monday, July 23, 2012

The Shit is Dead Podcast Episode 1

This is something we've been working on for a little bit, but here it is.  The first episode of The Shit is Dead Podcast.  We discuss the bands that should be out of bounds when talking about your favorite bands.  These bands are just too great to be picked as your favorite.  So, get creative and choose someone else!  Think someone else needs to be on this list?  Let us know by leaving a comment.


Monday, July 9, 2012

The Amazing Spider-Man: The title says it all

We are living in a rare time. The age of the superhero movie is in full force, and The Amazing Spider-Man does nothing but hold up my opinion.

We finally have a proper portrayal of what the Spider-Man character is supposed to be. And anyone who didn't enjoy this movie is either just not a fan of the source material, or is unjustly comparing it to the previous movies.

From the moment the film starts it feels like a fresh take on a story that felt brutally dated. Andrew Garfield feels and looks like a believable high school student, which is surprising considering he's almost thirty. As soon as he cracks that grin for the first time on screen a fan can instantly tell he's the smart ass that that Peter Parker needs to be.

One of the gripes people have with these movies is the constant need to have origin stories. We all know how Spider-Man got his powers, and if by some miracle you don't, you can ask the person next to you. It's probably the mix of a great cast and good storytelling, tied in with some whit and humor, but this origin story was more than bearable. Martin Sheen takes full advantage of his time on screen, becoming a lovable character in his role of Uncle Ben. It's been difficult in different versions Spider-Man's origin for the viewer to feel remorse for this character's death due to how little time he's around. For a death that is supposed to cause such an impact I don't think I've ever seen it handled better, and I really do attribute it to Martin's ability to connect with an audience.

Then you've got Sally Field as Aunt May in another memorable performance. She's probably the best example of something I praise in this movie, we get just enough of each character. There's no "oh, this bitch again" moment. Also, I'm glad to see a portrayal of Aunt May where she's not 200 years old, she's his aunt, not his damn great grandmother.

With every comic book movie the big question is what villain they'll go with, and in this case I think they made the right choice by using The Lizard to reintroduce Spidey. In the last trilogy we were constantly teased by the presence of Dr. Curt Connors, one of Peter Parker's college professors. But here, he's an Oscorp scientist looking to cure a number of diseases, and most of all, find a way to regrow his lost left arm. While it's true that it's one of the franchises safest villains, he is written in a way that gives him a certain edge. Rhys Ifans does the best with what he's given, and delivers adequately.

Finally, Gwen. Yes, Emma Stone plays Gwen Stacy. This is the way this story is told. This is what on screen chemistry looks like. Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield are spot on in every scene. If I didn't know any better I'd say they were filming these two flirt in real life.

Yes, I much prefer Gwen to Mary Jane.

Yes, I left an important character out. My favorite asshole (leo-leo leo-leo leo-leo) Dennis Leary pops up as Captain Stacy, Gwen's father and he's nothing short of hilarious. One liners galore. His banter with Peter Parker can be as uncomfortable as it can be utterly hysterical. A great addition to an already great cast.

The story itself is pretty straightforward, but it's the little things that make it special. The little mentions and nods that comic book fans can smile at, because we know. But it's the way that director Marc Webb handled the characters that made me love this movie.

A fine example would be how the character of Flash Thompson is used. Flash is a staple of this origin story. He's the bully. The tormentor. But where other versions have made him cruel and unlikable, here he's actually human, and while he's still a bully and a dick to most, he shows his human side when Peter is dealing with the loss of Uncle Ben. He is a teenager, and teenagers are cruel, but they're not evil. A fact that seems ignored by most teen stories these days, that fact really stuck out to me.

People are griping about how we're back to having web shooters instead of it being part of Peter's powers. I couldn't disagree more, Peter needs to have some invention implemented into his abilities. He's a scientist, it's important to have that character trait implemented into his alter ego, and web shooters are the way to go; that is, as long as they don't overplay the whole "I'm out of webbing" angle like the cartoons did in just about every episode.

I was originally skeptical about this movie, but over the last couple of months my anticipation rose, mostly because of the cast. Being a fan of Andrew Garfield since his appearance on Doctor Who, loving Dennis Leary since No Cure For Cancer, and simply just being in love with Emma Stone; I can say we finally have the Spidey movie we've always wanted. I look forward to the sequel(s), the spin-off(s), and the eventual joining of it all. If Marvel knows what they're doing, they'll find a way to bring it all together, if you know what I mean.

8/10

E3 2012 and the aftermath of news that overshadowed it


Every year I eagerly wait for E3, the hype machine that starts up on the internet weeks prior just can't be ignored. This year the hype was overwhelming. With Nintendo's next big thing finally being discussed in depth, and who knows what surprises to expect from Sony and Microsoft, it looked to be a landmark year for the gaming community. It wasn't.

Lets start with the big N. It was the one thing nobody could miss at E3 this year. The second unveiling of the Wii-U was finally happening. No more rumors and speculation, we would finally get to see what we were told would be Nintendo's return to relevance in the hardcore gaming community; unfortunately, that's not what we got.

Nintendo decided instead to ignore just about every franchise that has made them the face of gaming and stick mostly to generic casual gamer crap that no one really cared about. Someone needs to tell Nintendo that a karaoke game will not get me to buy a console.

They did announce two new Mario games. That's right, two. One for the Wii-U and one for the 3DS. They look like exactly the same game. A couple of years ago, in the Mario 64/Mario Sunshine/Mario Galaxy era we begged for an old-school side scrolling Mario game; and now we're drowning in them, seriously. We've gotten almost as many side scrolling Mario games as we have Call of Duty games... And that's never a good thing.

I'm not saying that these Mario games are going to be bad, who knows, I might just play one. The fact of the matter is that there is no diversity in presenting the same game over and over, much less twice in the same press conference.

The other bright spot in Nintendo's press conference was Pikmin 3, a game everyone knew was coming. I've never really played a Pikmin game, but I guess it doesn't look bad, just not my mug of beer.

Nintendo didn't show me a single game that makes me think I need to buy a Wii-U. They're pandering to the casual gamer by lowering their standards.

I'm going to totally ignore the minigame extravaganza shitfest that is going to be Nintendo Land. Yeah, I said it, it's going to suck. This should be this console's Wii Sports. The fact that they plan on charging full retail price for something that looks like a tech demo baffles me. The fact that it was the centerpiece and the closer at their press conference feels like a slap in the face to their fans.

But this was only the beginning, Nintendo then announces that they're discarding the 3DS altogether and delegating it to a second informational live feed that would be held a day after their initial press conference. And they had a info package the day before as well that actually had more info on the Wii-U than the actual press conference. We had around five hours of Nintendo content that really didn't answer any of our huge questions.

I will say that I am very excited for Castelvania's return to the 2D-ish realm on the 3DS. It's the one thing they did right.

On to Microsoft.

Why do I even watch the Microsoft conference anymore? They never do anything different. They show off two "big games", one of which is always either the new Halo or the new Gears Of War, and they they show off Call Of Duty or the new shooter from EA. Every year, and this one was no different.

Sure, the new Halo looks almost decent, but it's still the same old shit. When was the last time the Xbox had a new IP that was actually relevant to the gaming world. All they do is Halo, Gears, Kinnect and third party games.

Then they started with the Kinnect. An accessory that hasn't produced a single memorable gameplay experience outside of dancing like an idiot in your living room. I know, I know, I'm a Sony fanboy, and I'll say the exact same thing (or worse) about the Move in a minute, I promise.

With the announcement that Dragon Ball Z would have a Kinnect game, you can add on another beloved franchise of mine that gets shit all over because of a half assed game, with half assed controls that could never deliver any depth.

The moment that Microsoft realizes that the Kinnect is a supplemental device and should never be your main means of control the gaming world will be a much better place.

And of course, just like every year, the brunt of Microsoft's focus went on expanding the media parameters and attempting to make the Xbox the center of your living room. I have no problem with this. I actually wish Sony would do more of this (UFC on my PS3 please!). The problem is that at in your time to shine and show off the games you have coming up these companies have decided that gamers don't need games. And it's ridiculous.

This is actually where the coolest part of Microsoft's thing came about; they brought out something they called Smart Glass. Without a doubt the biggest 'fuck you' to the Wii-U you'll ever see. The Xbox is integrating a tablet concept to your viewing experience, and the way they showed it off was actually both innovative and interesting. Expect Sony to do something similar, and Nintendo to implement some of these ideas.

Once again, the biggest announcement came almost two weeks after E3, when Microsoft announced their line of tablets that might as well be the iPad killer... Or at least the Kindle killer. Of course, this will be compatible with the Smart Glass concept.

To sum it all up, it's quite obvious that this press conference was their way of saying "we're revealing a new console next year, so this year is going to be duller than usual", and I think for what it's worth, they handled it as best as they could.

And finally, Sony.

Last year at E3, Sony spent most of their time apologizing for the hacking and subsequent downtime of the Playstation Network, a debacle that still haunts their reputation. In a way, they're still apologizing for the PSN outage.

But they really tried to put their best foot forward. And fanboy-ism aside, they honestly had the best games of E3 at their show.

If you haven't seen it yet, stop reading this article and go watch every bit of footage from Naughty Dog's new game The Last Of Us. This is a game that I firmly believe will redefine what the way we look at violence in video games.

In one trailer, we got a spectrum of emotion and morality rarely seen in Oscar winning movies. Think about what I just said there.

Then we had Ubisoft's surprise game, WatchDogs. We were expecting The Last Of Us, but WatchDogs caught us way off guard. With impressive visuals, groundbreaking gameplay, a little bit of decent looking third person shooting, and the subtle yet rumored hint that all this was happening in a multiplayer world, WatchDogs has the world buzzing and clamoring for more info.

The third big game that sticks out in my mind has to be Beyond: Two Souls. Developer Quantic Dream turned a lot of heads with Heavy Rain, and now they seemed to have taken a giant step forward. Unfortunately we have more questions than answers about this one. Will it be as linear a story? Is this their approach to a more gameplay oriented experience, or are they still working under the 'interactive movie' umbrella? Whichever it is, the fact that Ellen Page is this involved in a video game is definitely a game changer.

The Sony press conference also had a strong showing from Assassin's Creed 3. The most anticipated entry thus far in the franchise added maritime battles to their ever growing repertoire of gameplay modes. Lets just hope it doesn't get old too fast. My critique for every AC game is always the same: interesting ideas that get way too old and overused by the end of the game. That said, this looks amazing and I can't wait to play it.

They also announced the Instant Game Collection for all PSPlus subscribers (which made me very, very happy). They gave away a good handful of full retail games for free to anyone who was a part of their premium gaming service, probably converting a shitload of people to the service and finally really making it worth it. And they've kept it up in the latest weeks with other games. While some are still unclear, Sony promised 12 full games before the end of the year.

Much like Nintendo ignoring the 3DS, the PSVita seems to have fallen by the wayside. While the announcement of Assassin's Creed 3: Liberation is a step in the right direction, it's barely what the Vita needs. It needs games, lots of them. Good games. It's an impressive piece of hardware, but no one wants a web browser that expensive.

While the Sony show wasn't without it's misses (JK Rowling's Spell Book, anyone?), it was definitely the least groan inducing. And I'm going to catch a lot of flack for saying it, but they did the best job out of the three big companies this year at E3.

I'm not saying that they won. I think all three failed miserably at what they needed to improve.

So, who won E3 this year then?

That's easy, Ubisoft.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but Ubisoft did a spectacular job this year. Every game they showed off was a huge success.

While The Last Of Us is by far my Game Of Show, all my other top spots are mostly taken up by Ubisoft titles.

They had the only two Wii-U games that actually looked decent; Rayman Legends actually looks like a lot of fun and Zombi U (Is that really the title? *facepalm*) looks to be the best example so far on how to use that gamepad adequately. Add that to WatchDogs and Parkour-A-Hontas and you have the winning-est lineup we've seen at an E3 in a long time.

What was I disappointed by? I was sad we didn't get to see any more of Bioshock Infinite. Last year's game of show was inconspicuous in it's absence as was Grand Theft Auto V. Also, the Resident Evil 6 trailer was slightly underwhelming, considering that I've heard the game is good from people who have played it behind closed doors.

The most pleasant surprise has to be Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance (now that's a title). I had little to no expectations, but what's in that gameplay footage is so over the top and ridiculous that I need to play it to believe it.

And of course, my beloved Borderlands 2 just keeps getting better and better every time I see something new. I really can't wait to get my hands on that game. I'll probably play it straight into 2014.

In summary, Nintendo has a lot to make up for. At this point I can't think of one person who is interested in purchasing a Wii-U, and I can't blame them. Microsoft is setting us up for big things next year, and I predict they kick all sorts of ass next year at E3. Meanwhile Sony continues to prove that they've had a bigger picture in mind all along, with a couple of missteps along the way nonetheless.

I was let down by the major companies this year, but E3 has reaffirmed my faith in games, because that's what it was all about this year. We should focus on the games, not the companies, no matter how aligned we feel. Picking a console has become almost as bad as picking a political party, and that needs to change (went kinda deep on that one, sorry)... But as far as I can see, it should still be a great year for games, and for gamers.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

EURO 2012 Preview


It is that time again.  Every four years, the best European international football teams get together to compete in the biggest tournament that is not called the World Cup.  The best of the best get their chance to shine in the international stage after a long qualification campaign.  Four years ago, Spain won the tournament and many felt it was a foreshadowing of what they would eventually go on to achieve during the World Cup.  In 2008, the hosts were Switzerland and Austria.  This time it is another tandem of countries.  Poland and Ukraine will have a chance to measure themselves against the best in Europe.  Can they become threats to the other teams or will they wither in the face of the opposition that will be traveling to their cities?  That is just one of the things that will be interesting to see during this tournament.



Who Will Win?


There are a couple of teams that have been lauded as the favorites to win this years tournament.  Obviously, the defending champions and World Cup winners Spain must be in the conversation for this years title.  Although in the end, I think Germany have a better team while Spain have the most talented individuals.  There are two main problems I see with Spain: where will they find the leadership in the back line with Carles Puyol out of the tournament and who will be the person to score their goals?  With Fernando Torres not playing his best and David Villa out with injury, it will fall on guys like Llorente and Negredo to pick up the scoring slack.  Germany will have some trouble with their central defense, but if Mats Hummels plays like he does with Borussia Dortmund, Germany should be able to win this.   


Who Will Come Close?


I can't really call France a dark horse, so I will put there in this category as a team that will probably come very close to winning the whole thing and might even do it.  After the debacle that was the World Cup 2010, manager Laurent Blanc has slowly but surely dismantled this team and then built it back into a force to be reckoned with.  The players seem to be playing with a renewed passion plus there are new players that will be looking to make their marks during this tournament.  Yann M'Vila and Jérémy Menez are guys who will be looking forward to making their mark as they stand alongside veterans like Franck Ribéry.


Who is the Dark Horse?

For me, a dark horse is a team that has a real outside shot of winning.  The probability is that they won't win, but they will be a threat.  I didn't want to claim France was a dark horse, because they are too big a team to be in this category, so I chose Russia.  One of the reasons I picked them over other teams is their draw in the Group Stage.  They will probably be able to get the first spot in their group.  Obiously, they will have to beat either Germany or the Netherlands, but I believe they could do that if they needed to.

Who Will Win the Golden Boot?

This is an interesting one.  There are many great scorers in this tournament.  Scoring in international football is not a very easy thing to do.  Group Stage is normally a pretty cagey affair with player not going all out in order to have a chance of moving on.  It would be easy for me to just pick someone like Robin van Persie, but his draw makes it hard for me to pick him to score the most goals throughout the tournament.  I also think picking Miroslav Klose wouldn't work as he is not really a hundred percent and he is older now.  I believe Karim Benzema will probably score the most goals.  In Group Stage they face three teams that are pretty suspect at the back.  His ability to power balls in and to control the ball on his feet will be paramount for France to reach the later stages of the tournament.

Disappointment?
I think the hosts will probably be the biggest disappointments.  It seems to me like both Poland and Ukraine as nations have failed to grasp at this opportunity with all their might.  They might prove me wrong in the end, but it feels like the hosts are only there for the ride and not as the active participants that they should be.  With Poland and Ukraine both getting decent draws (Poland more so than Ukraine), if they both fail to qualify for the elimination rounds, I fear that it will be up to the traveling fans of these nations to pick up the slack.

Who will be a train wreck?

It pains me to say it, but I think England might just become a train wreck during this important tournament.  Expectations are always high for England as an international force mostly because they have the best football league in the world.  The truth is that this team is talented but it lacks a certain cohesive that teams at this level need to succeed.  Their manager has been there for only a couple of months and they have lost a couple of important pieces of their puzzle (mainly Gareth Barry, Gary Cahill and Frank Lampard).  Not only this, but it will take some wizardry from their offense if they want to avoid elimination in the Group Stage even without their best player on the pitch for two out of the three first games.  Rooney has been suspended for those two games and that will be a real blow as they try to create goal scoring opportunities.  It seems to me that a lot of pressure will fall on captain Steven Gerrard's shoulder.

Player to watch?

I'm actually looking forward to see Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain.  The young Arsenal man will be looking to become a threat with his pace and his ability with the ball at his feet.  Mesut Ozil will try to replicate his accomplishments from the World Cup and his club play during this tournament.  Fernando Torres will also be a big talking point.  Can he reclaim his spot as the main striker for Spain or will he flounder like he has when it comes to goal scoring?

Either way, this will be a great tournament and I look forward to watching each and every game. 

Grab a beer and enjoy!

Monday, June 4, 2012

Netflix Reviews #10






This is the tenth edition of my reviews of movies that I watch through Netflix or really on those movie channels on TV.  This was an interesting batch.  There wasn't really a bad movie in this bunch.  Maybe one of them doesn't really fit with the others but what the hell.


In the Land of Blood and Honey

Written and directed by Angelina Jolie, this movie is a strange one to launch your directing career with, but I'm glad that Jolie decided to do something like this.  During the Bosnian War, Danijel (played by the always awesomely evil looking Goran Kostic) finds that a woman he had been seeing before the start of the war is a captive in the same military camp he works in.  Ajla (played by Zana Marjanovic) has to suffer through most of what the Bosnians went through (according to the film) by the Serbs.  Danijel is shown to be somewhat uninterested in the conflict and only there because his father is Nebojsa (played by Rade Serbedzija) who is one of the leaders of the whole movement.  The biggest flaw with this film is something that I think a lot of people have noticed when analyzing this film.  It is severely one sided.  That makes part of the message Jolie might have been trying to send to be weakened.  The movie has some pacing problems but I attribute it more to the screenplay than to the directing.  I will say one thing.  I am glad that Jolie decided to touch on a subject that sometimes seems to be pushed under the rug and not spoken about and is still so controversial.  I just wish it could have been a little more even.  I also like that Jolie did not go for Hollywood on this one and filmed a bunch of well known actors and decided to keep it local for the most part.  This way the acting skills of those involved can shine.  Kostic and Marjanovic did pretty damn well.  For a directorial debut, it was quite brave.

5 out of 10 

  


A Dangerous Method

There is something incredibly interesting about David Cronenberg's work that draws me to it.  Whether it be his 80s horror movies Videodrome and Scanners or the incredibly and awesomely violent A History of Violence and Eastern Promises, I will give him a chance no matter what he comes up with.  So while I was skeptical of a movie about the history of psychoanalysis, I was excited to have another Cronenberg film.  The three figures that are central to the beginnings of psychoanalysis are Sigmund Freud (played by Viggo Mortensen, a Cronenberg favorite), Carl Jung (Michael Fassbender) and Sabine Spielrein (Keira Knightly).  It is an interesting triangle of sex and ideas that the three characters go through.  The acting is really fantastic throughout and I like that even though Jung and Spielrein were sexually involved, it never seemed passionate in the way we are used to but almost clinical.  Whether the movie gets the facts of these three characters and their relationships right, that is not my field and I have to say I enjoyed the dialogue.  The building tension between Jung and Freud throughout the film is palpable as they express their views on the reasons for mental disorders.  It is definitely a movie that is different from the usual Cronenberg fare, but I'm glad to see Cronenberg expanding his horizons.

7 out of 10
  

The Sitter

What a disappointing movie.  I like director David Gordon Green.  He has some really hilarious comedies to his name (Pineapple Express and Your Highness) but he has also shown that he can definitely do drama with one of my favorite movies of 2007, Snow Angels.  Here, the biggest problem with the movie is not Jonah Hill.  I like his deadpan style of comedy.  It is the freaking kids.  They are annoying every single time they are on screen and I just got tired of seeing them.  Every time the El Salvadorian kid showed up they did this whole Mexican villain sound which was just ridiculous.  The whole thing with Sam Rockwell's Karl the Drug Lord was pretty stupid and almost cringe enducing.  This is definitely not worth even a watch.

2.5 out of 10
 


Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

The Mission: Impossible series of movies has come a really long way from the TV show that inspired it.  I can't say that I have been a huge fan of this series of spy thrillers since their inception.  Most of the time, convoluted story lines ruined some decent action scenes.  I have always liked the series penchant for showing some really cool spy technology.  I was leery when tackling this movie even though I had heard it was good.  Why?  Well, to main reasons... Tom Cruise and the director Brad Bird.  Cruise has managed to make three of this movies previously and they were never as cool or as entertaining as something like the Bourne movies.  It has also been almost ten years since the last movie I liked with him in the starring role.  Why was I fearful of Brad Bird?  One look at his filmography will tell you.  While he is a fantastic film maker when it comes to CGI animation, he had never helmed a live action movie.  That was a bit worrisome, but my worries were unfounded as what I got was an entertaining action/spy movie with some cool set pieces, beautiful and interesting scenes and some really awesome technology (that camouflage screen is pretty awesome).  I was surprised I liked this movie as much as I did.  I also liked the addition of Jeremy Renner.  I think he is a great action actor and he fit perfectly with the rest of the cast and in the movie in general.  Also, any movie that gives Simon Pegg screen time is a plus.  Surprisingly good.



7.5 out of 10




The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

The Millenium series of novels by Swedish journalist and novelist Stieg Larsson became a huge international hit after they were published posthumously.  The movie based on the first novel was released in Sweden in 2009.  For some reason, Hollywood decided to remake the movie only two years after the Swedish version was released.  It is hard not to compare the two as they are almost the same (barring some of the stylistic choices).  Both are great movies but I felt this one was hurt by my already having seen the Swedish version and liking it so much.  They couldn't have gotten a better director for this remake though.  David Fincher has shown the eye he has for making terrible violence and incredibly deep characters, both things that this movie needed.  Also, they were lucky that Rooney Mara was able to get deep into Lisbeth Salander's psyche and play her so convincingly.  I thought it would have been hard to top Noomi Rapace's version.  Daniel Craig (as Mikael Blomkvist) was very good, but I liked Michael Nyqvist's version a little bit better.  Truth be told, I liked both movies a lot.  I just felt that this one suffered a bit from it being so soon since the last one was released.  By itself though, this is a fantastic movie and another notch for Fincher's belt.  I also have to give props to Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for the awesome score.



8.5 out of 10


Haywire

Steven Soderbergh is one of those few directors who have already gotten the success that they want and they are not afraid to experiment and to try new things.  Always driving himself to do and try new things, Soderbergh films (good or bad) are always an experience.  Soderbergh cast MMA star Gina Carano for his latest experiment.  This is not the first time he has cast a non actor to a starring role (he cast porn star Sasha Grey for The Girlfriend Experience) and probably won't be the last.  For this spy thriller, he decided to do the right thing and got an incredibly experienced cast to work alongside Carano.  Ewan McGregor, Antonio Banderas, Michael Douglas, Channing Tatum and Michael Fassbender round up the cast of actors.  While Carano's acting throughout was suspect, the same cannot be said of the fight scenes.  Avoiding the new trend in Hollywood action films, the dreaded shaky cam, the fights highlight Carano at her best.  The fights feel natural and never do you think that anything that is happening on screen couldn't really happen in real life.  Carano is a natural for this type of action scenes.  The one with Fassbender in the hotel room is particularly awesome.  That said, the story is a little convoluted, but I didn't really watch this movie for the story.  I really do hope Carano keeps going in the movie business because she can fight and better yet, her abilities transfer well to the big screen.

7 out of 10 


Saturday, June 2, 2012

Snow White is the fairest (but shallowest) of them all.


Snow White and the Huntsman

This movie is a re imagining of the classic Brothers Grimm fairy tale "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves".  The story has been bastardized through the years (especially by Disney) into a pretty tame story of envy and true love.  Sure, this was always a story of envy but the original story is much more interesting to read or probably to watch.  For this movie, they take some ideas from the original fairy tale and others from the Disney movie and make it into an amalgam of both but they also add some stuff of their own.  In this version, Snow White (played by Kristen Stewart) is held hostage by the evil Queen Ravenna (Charlize Theron) until she escapes from the Queen's brother (Sam Spruell).  The Queen sends the Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) to kill her but he can't bring himself to do it so they escape and pass through different parts of the kingdom in search of safety.  That is the basic premise of the movie.  Obviously, it gets a little more convoluted with trolls and faeries and Ian McShane as a 4 foot dwarf.

First, I'd like to talk about the plot of the movie.  While there were some interesting moments in this film, everything felt a little disjointed.  It's not surprising that the screenplay was written by three different writers.  It feels like two different movies for two different crowds and they never really mesh.  While the idea of having the Huntsman play a bigger role is a nice touch but the character of William (Sam Claflin), who is supposed to be her friend from so long ago who risks his life to get her to safety and then nothing really happens, is completely wasted.  The Queen's brother is also there to just bother the good guys and get them moving from locale to locale.  I feel this was drawn up to have some sort of love triangle angle between Bella, Jacob and Edward... wait... I sometimes confuse movies.

  Officer: Mr. Mirror, I'm going to have to take your driver's license away.
Mirror: But why?
Officer: Does the term legally blind mean anything to you?

Now, while better things could have been done with William and especially the dwarves, the biggest problem with this movie is in its cast.  If you go at to the movie's IMDb page, it wouldn't surprise me if people were excited to see the movie.  Charlize Theron is a proven actress; Chris Hemsworth while sometimes lacking charisma can do a good job; and the dwarves are a who's who of British acting with Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins, Ray Winstone, Toby Jones, Eddie Marsan, Nick Frost, and Johnny Harris.  It was missing Dame Judi Dench and Bill Nighy and it would be a done deal.  These are all fantastic actors and they mostly do okay in this film, but the main and most important character is sadly played by someone who has no range.  Kristen Stewart makes this movie completely dull.  The moments where we are supposed to feel happy or hopeful or sad and distraught are ruined by her mechanical expressions.  How are we supposed to feel connected to this movie if the person we should rally for can't give us even one heartfelt smile?  They also tried to make Snow White into some sort of Joan of Arc character but Stewart doesn't inspire anyone to believe in her cause. 

And you know what is worse, it feels like she was picked for this part for the sole reason of bringing in the legions of Twihards out there.  And you know what makes me feel shittier?  I actually used to like Kristen Stewart.  I thought she would become a pretty good actress.  I am ashamed.  When Snow White tries to rally the troops, I couldn't help but groan.  Here is where I thought director Rupert Sanders should have come in and done something about all this.  All he could do was waste 120 million dollars on the cinematography, costume design and special effects.


Colleen Atwood did a magnificent job with the costume designs for the movie.  She is definitely one of the highlights of the whole film.  The feather coat looks fantastic on Charlize Theron and makes her look incredibly dark and more important beautiful and menacing at the same time.

The set designs are also very well done.  The forests, the castle on the shore, the faerie part of the forest, even the lakeside village looked great.  They definitely outdid themselves in the technical aspects.  Especially when it came to things like the troll on the bridge and the fact that they took full size actors and shrunk them down.  It was off putting at first, but then they definitely do grow on you.

The score was also a bit of a mixed bag.  A lot like this film.  While there are incredibly beautiful music in there to fit with the scenery, the main song for this movie feels so out of place.  "Breath of Life" by Florence + The Machine is just not the song for an epic like this one.  "Gone" by Ioanna Gika is breath taking, unlike the song mentioned before.

Now, am I the only one that is creeped the hell out by two different men who are neither family nor romantically involved with Snow White kiss her in the mouth while they think that she is dead?  Ugh.  Perverted is more like it.

Officer: Dude... step away from the dead lady!  Can't you at least wait till she gets to the morgue?  Jeez!

In the end, this movie is a lot of style and very little substance.  There are some amazingly stylish shots.  The shot of Theron giving her back to the camera and she is bending over and you can see the bones of the spinal cord is fantastic.  As is the shot of her coming out of the white substance she gets into (milk?  I hope its milk cause otherwise... *shudder*).  It shows that Sanders does have potential to be a pretty good film maker.  It is not the worst movie out there, but its not worth watching in the theaters.  The sets are great, the special effect are pretty damned good, the costumes are fantastic but the acting (from Stewart), the screenplay and the directing are amateurish.

3 out of 10
  

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Weekly wRant!! "About sausages and buns"



From the title you might think that I'm going to talk about something perverted (I could only hope for so much), but in reality I got the bizzare request to talk about an uneven cruelty in our lives. A devastating acurance that has killed many defenseless bbq's. The tale of the 8 Hot Dog pack and the 10 Hot Dog Bun Pack. 


This may sound silly now, but how many times have you been at a get together or party and realized that there will always be those lonely buns that will never get a chance to be digested. They have to succumb to countless days of lounging in the back of a cupboard, to rot and be forgotten. 


Imagine it this way: You are at said party and you are the 9th wheel. How would you feel? That's why I am starting a protest! We must save those depressed wallflowers and rid them of their wheelness! (Ahem!) Ok I steered away from the subject at hand, but the truth of the matter is that everyone needs a sausage... No wait... a com-pa-nion (riiight). In a universe where flawed objects are dismissed it's time these delicious buns get their chance! So, I encourage you fellow readers that the next time you set out to have a scrumptious Frank,actually have a Frank! They are healthier, taste better and come in packets of... Wait... WHAT??!!! 12??!! Packets of twelve??!!! MOTHER FUCKER!!

Rocklahoma: Live on HDNet


Rocklahoma 2012

On Sunday, 27th of May, the music festival Rocklahoma had its final day.  Luckily for the people not in Oklahoma this weekend, Mark Cuban's HDNet decided to air the last day of the festival live for people to see.  Rocklahoma is a hard rock festival held in Pryor, Oklahoma.  It’s a hard rock festival with a southern tinge to it.  Obviously the bands playing it are mostly in that style although there are some that leave that mold a little bit.  From the heavier stuff to the more progressive and alternative.  This is a review of the last day of the festival which was aired on HDNet.  Out of the four stages, we got two, which is pretty damn good.  Most of these band I have never seen or heard live, so this will be a good experience.

Rains
 (Hard Rock Stage)


The first thing that really jumped out at me was that the vocalist didn’t sound so good.  HDNet had some problems trying to fix the sound and have it fit well for the TV crowd so that might have had something to do with their sound.  Sometimes the musicians were nice and clear but you could’t hear the vocalist and other times it was the complete opposite.  It took them a little while to fix it, but later on, they did.  I had never heard this band before but what I heard wasn’t that impressive.  Either way, this was never really my style of music, so I understand why I wasn't that into it.  It was not bad, just not my cup of tea.
Black Stone Cherry
(Main Stage)

 
The band showed a lot of energy even though the place was still pretty empty.  It was obvious to me the difference between BSC and the previous band in the way they sell themselves at the same time they sell their music.  They were able to fix the sound issues about half way through their set and it sounded pretty good.  I’ve been a fan of their music since they released their self titled album back in 2006.  Its southern hard rock at its best.  Interestingly enough, their next to last song was a cover of Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab”.  It wasn’t a bad one, just sort of lacked feeling.  They closed their set with one of my favorites from their self titled album, “Lonely Train”.

Charm City Devils
(Hard Rock Stage)


This is another band that I had never heard before this live show.  Good energy and the music was okay.  His banter is pretty lame.  I love it when people who have probable never lived outside of the United States proclaim it the best country in the world (if the singer of this band has lived outside of the US for some time, I retract my statement towards him and keep it for everyone else.  I wish they would play so he will shut up.  I actually liked their style.  Give them a listen.  It's hard rock with some obvious southern roots.  Their version of the traditional folk classic "Man of Constant Sorrow" isn't bad at all.
Puddle of Mudd
(Main Stage)


They had some entertaining songs back in the day, but nothing that really spoke to me.  Truthfully, I haven't heard any of their stuff since their Come Clean album.  I sort of realized why that was while listening to their set live.  I really don’t like Wes Scantlin’s voice.  It sort of takes me out of the songs.  Come to think of it, I don’t think its that I dislike his voice… he can’t sing worth a damn live.  Really bad.  I don't know, I was just so disappointed in this whole performance.  It was definitely one of the downers of the night.  The music was alright, but considering who the headliners are, okay is worse than mediocre.

Aranda
(Hard Rock Stage)


Aranda are a band from Oklahoma City and their music is as safe as that picture of two of them.  Their biggest claim to fame is that Kelly Clarkson covered one of their songs.  Hey, whatever gets them fans is fine by me.  This was a little too Nickleback-y for me, but they were okay.  Nothing special.

Jackyl
(Main Stage)


This is one of the sets I was looking forward to the most.  I had never heard their music, but Eddie Trunk (who was hosting the event) mentioned something interesting about them.  These guys are just plain fun to listen to and watch.  Vocalist Jesse James Dupree knows how to work a crowd and both guitar and bass players are pretty damned good.  Their music is southern metal to its oomph degree.  With songs like "My Moonshine Kicks Your Cocain's Ass" and "She Loves My Cock", they will have no problems with people questioning their credibility to play is a festival like Rocklahoma.  Now, don't get me wrong.  Dupree is not the next coming of Freddie Mercury, but his voice fits perfectly to their party heavy style.  It’s gonna be hard to top their set.  Dupree played the “Star Spangled Banner” with his mouth on guitar.  And finally, the bastard played a song with a freaking chainsaw.  A chainsaw.  And then he burned the stool he was chainsawing… fuckin' awesome.  They have just gained a fan.
Art of Dying
(Hard Rock Stage)


Another band I had never heard.  It's too sad for them that they had to follow up the amazing show that Jackyl put.  It sounded like every other generic band out there.  Which is never good.  At least if people hate you, they will talk about you.  These guys are just... meh.
Queensrÿche
(Main Stage)


I’m a big fan of Queensrÿche.  Maybe not their newest stuff so much, but the band have been making amazing music for a while and it's a little weird to see them along with all these hard southern rock acts.  Either way, I was definitely looking forward to this set.  Geoff Tate is definitely one of the best vocalists in hard rock music.  I would probably put his up there in the pantheon of Rob Halford, Bruce Dickinson and Ronnie James Dio.  Just listen to a song like "Queen of the Reich" and tell me differently.  Tate and the band decided to move away from the heavy metal scene and more into prog metal music (which is why I think they are so underrated in most circles).  Still, there is something about the band that is really special.  They played a good mixture of old and new stuff for this set, which left me satisfied.
Hellyeah
(Hard Rock Stage)
This is an interesting group.  Vocalist Chad Gray (Mudvayne), guitarists Tom Maxwell (Nothingface) and Greg Tribbett (Mudvayne), basis Bob Zilla (Damageplan) and drummer Vinnie Paul (Pantera, Damageplan) are the members that comprise the southern groove metal band.  They fit perfectly in this festival.  Their aggressive style was definitely a contrast to the more low-key southern hard rock bands that played before, but these guys really brought the pain and the energy.  It's great to see Vinnie Paul back behind the drumset.  These guys are heavy and I much prefer Gray here than in Mudvayne.

Chickenfoot
(Main Stage)


If you haven't heard of Chickenfoot, then go to YouTube or wherever and listen to this wonderful super group (if you will).  The team of Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony (ex-Van Halen) on vocals and bass respectively, Chad Smith (Red Hot Chili Peppers) on drums and guitar virtuoso Joe Satriani.  The great thing about this group is that when you listen to them live (this being the second show on HDNet were they have played live), you can see how much fun they are having up there.  Sure, Hagar can no longer be the spark plug that he was before, he can still hold a crowd interested.  Also, it is also worth noting that one of my biggest fears for this group was Joe Satch and the fact that he didn't come from a band background (unlike the others) and I thought it would be a little difficult for them to mix well.  They did a good job mixing tracks from both albums and playing the classic Montrose track "Rock Candy" as the closer to the show and the festival.
Overall, I would say this was a pretty damned good show with the highlights being Jackyl, Queensryche, Hellyeah and Chickenfoot.
I will definitely be looking at more Live Concerts from HDNet as this was definitely a winner even though it was 8 hours long.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

WrestleMania XXVIII: Falling Short, With Style


Can we talk wrestling on The Shit Is Dead? Well, it matters to me, so the answer is YES.

Another year, another WrestleMania. It's been 14 years since I've been following wrestling religiously. My first WM was WretleMania 14; Stone Cold vs HBK with Mike Tyson as the special enforcer. Feels like forever ago. The product has changed, it seems like the target audience has as well. But with the return of The Rock, it looks like they're once again trying to give us back the Attitude Era. To me, it doesn't seem like the best idea, I have my reasons, but let's see how it turned out:

The Buildup:
The buildup to Mania this year revolved around John Cena and his yearlong feud with The Rock who seemingly has made his long awaited return to the world of wrestling. Obviously Mr. Johnson got the top billing he deserves, but unfortunately he's not exactly back full time, so for a year of buildup Cena ended up with a lot of pointless opponents (that shitty Kane feud comes to mind) while he waited around for Dwane to show up. For a whole year we waited for Rocky to finish filming his movies and doing his promotional tours, and what we ended up with seemed a bit underwhelming to me. We got a month of back and forth face to face banter between the two, and a shitty tag match at last year's Survivor Series. I would have liked more brawling, make the feud personal. As much as they told us how important this match was, it wasn't important enough to make Cena or Rock throw the first blow, they seemed content to just talk at each other for a year, which in the wacky world of wrestling seems highly unlikely.

The other match everyone was looking forward to was the "end of an era" match in the Hell In A Cell between Triple H and The Undertaker. If the cell wasn't enough to sweeten that deal we also got Shawn Michaels in there as the special guest referee. I was much more excited for this match than the main event. Predictable as it has become, I expect nothing short of spectacular from Taker's "Mania Streak Matches", especially the last couple of years. The buildup to this was exactly what you'd expect: meaningful, personal back and forth promos that blur the line between what's real and what's scripted. And the fans ate it up to a point where I dare say this was just as anticipated as the main event.

A couple of years ago it surprised me when neither title seemed as important as other matches on the card, but at this point it feels like the norm. This year the big title match was without a doubt CM Punk against Chris Jericho. Two of my personal favorites facing in their first big match. I say that because they have gone at it before, just never with any build or anything big on the line. The WWE Championship might be playing second fiddle to the big matches at Mania, but don't let that fool you, these two could very well steal the show.

Of course, the World Heavyweight Championship was also on the line at Mania with Bryan Danielson Daniel Bryan defending against Sheamus in a match that should have happened last year at WMXVII for the US Title, but was kept on the pre-show and then turned into a shitty lumberjack match last minute. These two have a lot to prove, and a lot to live up to.


The Event:
The show kicks off with what seemed like a metric fuckton of pyro that when on longer than the actual first match of the show. I had a feeling we'd be getting it first, and we did...

World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan - 
This match was pretty much pointless. I take that back, it wasn't pointless, I think it showed the WWE brass that DB is connecting to the fans. Bryan was ridiculously over with the crowd, 'Yes' signs everywhere, 'Yes' chants the whole time. It saddened me to know that Sheamus was going over no matter how hot the crowd was for Bryan.

As soon as Bryan turns around he gets hit with one of Sheamus' twelve finishers, the Brogue Kick, and that's all she wrote for Daniel Bryan's title reign. Quite the shame, especially when I'm sure pointless matches will get more time later on the card. I'm sure these two could deliver an above average match. As a matter of fact, I'm willing to say that Daniel Bryan could have a good match with anyone on the WWE roster if given proper time to work. But we moving on.

Kane vs. Randy Orton
Why wasn't this match the opener? I really don't get it. WWE needs to learn never to have their champions jerk the curtain, especially when you have a pointless grudge match to follow it up.

These two seemed to phone it in for Mania, which makes no sense to me. The pace was slow and it had very few surprises. The only shock was at the very end of the match when Kane actually picked up a clean win over Orton with a less than stellar looking Chokeslam off the top rope.

Intercontinental Championship: Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes
Believe it or not, I kind of enjoyed the build to this match. Rhodes has really progressed as a character and as a worker in the past year and his mocking of Show for his failures at WrestleMania was actually pretty entertaining.

With that said, this is still a Big Slow match.

It wasn't bad, just not a Mania caliber match. Show finally gets his win at the big show (pun totally intended) and picks up the IC Championship for the first time.

Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos vs. Beth Phoenix and Eve
I'll give Maria Menounos all the credit in the world, she got in there and did her thing. Was it any good? No. Should she have gotten the win? No. But she did anyways. Meh.

Hell In A Cell: The Undertaker vs. Triple H, with Shawn Michaels as the Special Guest Referee 
I was genuinely surprised how early on the card this happened. To most people, this has become Mania's number one attraction. The Streak has become the biggest thing in wrestling, and every year the WWE does it's best to convince us that they've got the guy who's going to end it. Year after year, come Mania, I become a skeptic once again, yet Taker keeps proving me wrong.

Trips and Taker stole the show, by a landslide. I felt sorry for The Rock and John Cena, not as much for Punk and Y2J, those two can hold their own.

This match told a great story, the Cell wasn't even necessary. It was almost like the cage was there just to protect the audience from these two throwing shit out of the ring. HBK still has some of the greatest reactions in the biz, his faces were pivotal. The other thing that helped this match was the fact that Jim Ross was calling the action (I really hate Michael Cole and Booker T as announcers). They even let them bleed (slightly) to my surprise.

When it comes to technical wrestling though, it wasn't a masterpiece. It was more of a brawl, but that's what it was meant to be. One of those rare cases where the wrestling gets overshadowed by the story and what the match actually means.

Of course, The Streak remains intact. I never really expected Trips to end it, but I will admit he made me jump out of my seat a couple of times. Hell of a match.

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy
This match replaced the Money In The Bank Match, it had every noteworthy wrestler on contract thrown in for no reason. Instead of hyping up the talent, they decided to show off the General Managers of both Raw and Smackdown, which is as smart as smart as having an entertainment reporter wrestle a match.

Nothing special. Team Johnny gets the win making him the GM of both shows. Oh joy.

WWE Championship: CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho
Who truly is the Best In The World? That's a tough one to call, but it was the tagline in this match. And honestly, it lived up. What Taker and Trips did for storytelling, these two did for flat out wrestling. Good ring physiology  and know how.

The finish to this match had most on the edge of their seat with each wrestler countering the others submission move. Finally, Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice to force the tapout and retain his title.

Depending on your preference, this could have easily been match of the night.

The Rock vs. John Cena
I wish I felt sorry for these two, but I saw this coming.

This match was a huge flop in my book. They gassed way too fast, the crowd was worn out from the other awesome matches, and over all the match just wasn't all that good.

As big a star as he is, Cena simply isn't that great a worker. To express it more accurately, he's as good as whoever he's wrestling. If he we're wrestling The Rock back in 2002, this could have been awesome. What we got was ring rust, and lots of it. Rocky botched a couple of big moves that definitely cost the match, and the crowd was so dead that they didn't really care. Sure, they popped for the finish, but it felt more like a mercy cheer.

Yes, Rock went over. And as happy as I should be about that it just doesn't make sense to me. If Rock is going on another one of his 'vacations', why have him go over someone whom you get to keep? I think this was the moment for a character change from Cena, leading to a victory. I'm not saying full blown heel turn, just a modification. Maybe some rougher tactics.

Unfortunately the way I look at it the year long hype came back to bite the WWE in their giant corporate ass. The main event paled in comparison to both Taker/Trips and Punk/Jericho.

My Impression:
Two matches don't make a card, no matter how good they are. We got a lot more shit on this card than we did good. And the main event fell flatter than Scotty Goldman's gimmic. On top of that, eight matches for a four hour show is laughable, I didn't cover any of the shit backstage segments because they shouldn't even be on the show, keep that shit on Raw.

While it was better than the past couple of WrestleManias, it's nowhere near the best one ever, no matter what Michael Cole tells you.

4.5/10