Oh Captain My Captain - A tale of Marvel's kick-ass Summer

A lot of people seem really surprised that Marvel hasn't dropped the ball this Summer. With three huge releases, and the track record for comic book movies, the odds weren't exactly in their favor.

On the other hand, I always have high hopes for comic book movies. I know how great they can be if done right, and I really believe that Marvel has shown us how it's done with this whole Avengers buildup thing they've done.

With Captain America we finally round up the bunch and we're ready for the main event, and this movie makes sure to point that out. Marvel decided to make this film the biggest Avengers tie in to date, I mean, it's in the fucking title. But on top of that we have substantial nods to other Avengers in the movie.The Cosmic Cube plays a huge role in the film's plot and it is said to have been "the jewel of Odin's treasure room," which indirectly ties Thor into our WWII story. And since this story has to do with cutting edge technology and is mostly happening in 1942 it is obvious that the Starks have something to do with it. In this case, Howard Stark, who is is actually really important to the plot.

"Your motivation? You watched Iron Man right? Just pretend you're Tony."

Of course, we have the big tie in happening after the credits, but I'm not a big enough dick to spoil that for you. I'm just going to say that if you left early because you had to pee, you missed out, because it's spectacular. But enough about that.

The movie itself is amazing. I'd say it's amazing because it looks and feels like a comic book. And that's what we, the fans, wanted. I'm truly surprised at how well it turned out. I was genuinely worried at how sickening the whole patriotism shtick would get; but it is  handled wonderfully with some well placed humor. On top of that it's characterized by what can only be called comic book pacing, because the action just seems to roll along at the right speed, unlike movies like (ugh) Spider-Man 3 which just constantly threw things (shit) at you at a ridiculous pace.

The plot needs no introduction. I mean it's been five years since Ultimate Avengers came out, so it's kinda fresh in our minds. But it's handled very well. Faithful enough to the original to keep the die-hards at bay, yet pleasing to any new fan who just wants the 'summer blockbuster' experience. But in the end, I like to think it's the fans who decide weather a comic book movie was worth it. And I must say, Cap hit his mark.

The thing that made Captain America such an interesting movie for me is the fact that I went into it relatively blind, asides from knowing that Chris Evans was playing Cap, and that The Red Skull was the villain, I knew very little about this film. The last time I went into a movie like this was for The Dark Knight, except in that case it was on purpose. I was actually shocked when TDK threw Two-Face at me, I didn't expect him until the next movie. It proved to be an interesting experience, one that I'm glad to repeat, albeit by accident.

"Another badass for the resume. Geeks love me."

In this case, I had a couple of pleasant surprises. First of all was Hugo "Mr. Anderson" Weaving, who seems to love popping up in movies I really, really like. Almost like he's doing it on purpose. He, of course, plays The Red Skull. This might be the most awesome looking make-up/costume and outfit job in superhero movie history. He just looks flat-out threatening at all times. He is also built up appropriately, such an awesome face can't just be shown from the start. There is a great anticipation for when he rips off the Mission Impossible-ish rubber mask thing and shows us the crimson. An awesome Marvel villain done right. And as always, he's fucking Hugo "V" Weaving, so he delivers a great performance.

The supporting cast does their job well. Several minor characters fall by the wayside at times, but they're there, proving that they did actually read the source material. Actually finding out who was in this movie actually made the credits enjoyable. For example, 'Dum Dum' Dugan was there the whole time, and I just didn't piece together that it was him.

Without a doubt the stand out character in the movie is played by Tommy Lee Jones, who is obviously trying to make up for being in Batman Forever. He plays the man with a million one-liners, Colonel Chester Phillips. This character practically outshines the Cap himself. It almost feels like the role was written for him. I have honestly quoted this character at least a dozen times since I watched the movie, and it hasn't gotten old. It's just one of those performances that controls the screen, and whenever he walks off screen, you almost want to beg him to come back. Kudos to Mr. Jones.

"Flip a coin to see who the star is? No, that's not a good idea."

On to Cap himself. Hearing that Chris Evans was playing the Captain America left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. I'm one of those wishful thinking kinda geeks that's always hoping for big things. And since Chris was, in my opinion, the only well-cast person in that horrible Fantastic Four attempt, it saddened me that he was abandoning the role of Johnny Storm., eliminating the chance of an eventual appearance as the Human Torch in anything else. I know, it was highly unlikely, but it would have been fun.

After watching his portrayal of Capn' Mmerricuh (FUCK YEAH!... sorry) I have to eat my words. He did a great job bringing one of Marvel's deepest characters to life. And I praise him because he did it how it was meant to be done, because as intricate as his character is, it can also get kinda nauseating. But Chris managed to keep around the good, and omit the bad... At least until the sequel.

This movie could have just been Avengers filler. It could have been the biggest hyping tool in movie history. And it kinda is, but it isn't... Because it's also the best comic book movie since The Dark Knight. And I think that's quite an accomplishment. I also believe it's the best superhero movie out this summer, which is also something to brag about. In the end, with Marvel's recent record, am I surprised it's good? No. Am I surprised it's this good. Fuck yea I am.

8.5/10

4 things that could have made Thor better.

Now I know what you're saying... "It was a good movie!" And I agree. I quite enjoyed it. But as a fan, there's always that one little thing, that wasted opportunity that just ticked me off (notice I didn't say 'piss me off' because, again, I liked the movie).

So, with that said...
Let the nitpicking begin!


1- We needed more of:
Yes, there were couple of characters that needed more screen time, whether it be because they needed more of a build, or simply because they were just screen stealers.

The prime example here is obviously Loki. I'm not complaining about what he did, or how he was portrayed. We just needed more of him. Maybe an extra visit to Thor on Earth or something, just to drive the "I'm a dick" point home. This becomes an even bigger issue when you think that Loki is the rumored villain for the upcoming Avengers flick.

Then we have the case of Heimdall, who really just steals every scene he's in. A great blend of writing and performance (and an awesome giant fucking sword) kept you hoping he'd just show up again just for a second.

Honorable mention: That asian guy with the raspy voice. He was just fun to watch. And he sounded funny.

2- We needed less of:
Natalie Portman. That's right, the Jane Foster character is totally forgettable. This can be blamed on the Hollywood-ness of it all. To these people, the romance needs to be there almost as bad as the shirtless scene. In all honesty, all the character did was make googly eyes at Thor the whole movie. I would have much preferred to see more of Kat Dennings, at least she had some humor to her.

3- A better post-credits thingy:
I might be stingy with that one, just to keep it spoiler-less.
Marvel movies in recent years have become famous for making people sit through the credits. But on this occasion I was slightly disappointed. Not that it was bad. But it just wasn't up to the standards that recent Marvel flicks have set. Iron Man still sticks out as the best post-credits scene, and as much as a tie-in as this must be to the Avengers plot, this is still the weakest.

4- It needed one more song...
And here is where I get to rage... Because even if it was during the end credits, we got to hear Black Sabbath's Iron Man during Iron Man... And it was awesome. Everyone in the theater was rocking out as the credits started. It was just a great way to close off a great movie. I would have even thrown it in when he was wearing the suit for the first time, just for the hell of it.

Now we fast forward to Thor, and I'm thinking to myself... "What awesome song are we going to get to pump us up in the movie?" I said it jokingly, because I knew what I wanted. It had to be there, there's no way it isn't.

Halfway through it we get Walk by the Foo Fighters. And I will admit, it brought a smile to my face. You all know I love that band. But that's not what I was waiting for. I expected it during the end credits. And then, they gave me Walk again.

Now, I ask you, my readers... If Iron Man had Iron Man... Shouldn't Thor have God Of Thunder by Kiss?! Just listen to it...

We would have been pumped! I feel Marvel has done me an injustice. I might even say that I wrote this whole article just to get to that point. Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley should feel robbed of their birthright.

Fine, I might be pushing it a bit (just a bit!). But it really would have been great. Maybe in the sequel.

One last thing... *pats self on back for not making one single Asgard joke*. Ok, I'm good.

Come all ye Asgardians!

In order for this to be a proper review, I have to admit that Thor is my favorite Marvel character. So, if you feel like I’m being too nice to it, then just know that I might be a little bit subjective. With that out of the way, I want to touch on one other thing which some might bring up. While the character Thor is obviously the based on the character of Nordic mythology, the movie is based on the comic books and not the actual mythology (still remembers people criticizing 300 for not being historically accurate). With that out of the way, here’s my review…

Thor deals with the title character’s war with himself and his “brother” Loki for the throne of Asgard. Odin, the all father (Anthony Hopkins), exiles Thor from Asgard and sends him into Midgard (Earth) in order to teach him a lesson. At first, we see that Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is arrogant and foolish as he betrays his father’s trust and disobeys his orders, causing a war where peace had reigned for a long time. After Thor is banished, Loki (Tom Hiddleston) uses this chance as a way to capture the throne of Asgard from an old Odin.

Thor (now without his powers) is sent to Earth where he meets astrophysicist Jane Foster (Natalie Portman), Dr. Erik Selvig (Stellan Skarsgard) and Darcy Lewis (Kat Dennings). On Earth, he has to deal with not having any powers, S.H.I.E.L.D., and eventually a big fire-breathing robot. I thought the romance part was pretty weak but that’s not really what matters in the movie.

Now, I always thought that making a movie based on Thor would be too hard an undertaking to tackle. Thor is not your typical super hero. He talks in a Shakespearian way and it doesn’t seem like he is interesting enough to be able to handle a whole movie by himself. Thankfully, Marvel understood this and gave him a plethora of characters for him to be able work. Not only many characters, but these characters are played by pretty good actors. Portman, Skarsgard, and Hopkins are proven top quality actors that can hold their own and be able to work with someone like Chris Hemsworth who is pretty much a newcomer to Hollywood. Thor’s friends are not much interesting except for Siff (who actually is the wife of Thor in Nordic mythology). Also, I would watch a movie based solely on Heimdall but only if its played by Idris Elba.


But the thing that made me think that this actually had the chance of being a good movie was the director that Marvel chose. Kenneth Branagh might not be the most known director to the casual crowd of movie goers, but for anyone that knows, he is the Shakespearean director bar none (his 4 hour version of Hamlet is pretty damn awesome). And it works.

The biggest flaw in the film is the villains. When people think of awesome superhero movies, they think of villains like the Joker. Although he has some cool powers, Loki is just too weak to actually go against Thor believably. Loki’s powers and skills just don’t show well on the screen. He is too subtle. The Destroyer was mostly a joke as well. So while the villains in the movie aren’t very strong, its all about Thor’s journey as he battles himself in order to eventually become the king of Asgard.

Even though I may be talking about all the bad things that this movie has, I enjoyed the film. I thought the movie as a complete package works well. Not only that, but it does a good job in working as a trampoline for the Avengers movie that will rock the world very soon.

6.5 out of 10