Fuck Battleship... We're reviewing Clue!

This week on The Shit Is Dead we're kicking it old school! And we are starting it off with a bang! Literally. We have revolvers, lead pipe, ropes, knife. Se the pattern? Recognize it? If you don't than you should be ashamed of yourself! Because this is one of most cleverly constructed movies of all time. I am of course talking about Clue. In 1985 Director Jonathan Lynn and Paramount Pictures gave us a comedy of murderous proportions. With an amazing A-List cast (for that time) that had you laughing till popcorn came out of your nostrils.

"...Ftom Trrrrransylvania!"

Not only did they work the main story line from the Parker Brothers game, but they also gave you twists and turns to keep you second guessing who the murderer is. And as the plot thickens, you find yourself submerged in the action. With an awesome opening sequence which introduces none other then legendary Tim Curry (All transsexual Transylvanian jokes aside), where he proceeds to, present to us each character in this epic game.

We soon see comedic big shot actors such as Christopher Lloyd, Martin Mall, Madeline Kahn and Michael McKean enter the premises of Hill House (all with lightening and spookiness) Now I don't want to spoil anything for those who haven't watched this movie, but the plot goes a little something like this: All the main characters from the game have been summoned to said Hill House to try and confront the person who has been blackmailing them for various political, moral and scientific reasons. All the names such as Prof. Plumb, are alias' that have been given to them as to protect their identity.

With quirky dialogue and a pace that makes you feel like you're in the theater (the live one, not the sticky floor and popcorn one) you are either at the edge of your sea or laughing hysterically. As the characters find out they know each other for various incriminating reasons, the action starts to unfold. New characters not included in the game start to appear as a direct reference to the main characters.

"Who shot JR?!"

You know it would suck.

We get beautifully constructed background for each character, my personal favorite is Mr. Green's storyline, but, you'll have to watch the movie to pick one of your own. A 50's theme, with clothes, music, cars, the whole shebang, to transport you back to a time when J. Edgar Hoover was still in charge and if you're not amazed by it, you can still laugh it in to the plot of the movie. I will say this though, after watching this movie, playing the game has never been the same.  I doubt they could accomplish that if they had made a movie about Monopoly or Sorry. That would be depressing, and we thank you for never trying ton make a kid's film out of those (just saying).

Also a bonus feature, when you buy the DVD version of the movie (as if you had a choice nowadays) you get the theatrical bonus that everyone who is a fan loves. Three endings, all In a row. You see, when it was released this was the fun part of the climactic ending and they were kind enough to include it.

So my old schooler's as I wrap up this review I want to encourage you to check it out...REALLY  It's awesome. You have Doc and The Transsexual together in a movie. I'ts sexy time travelling babies people!!!

Eny's Score: Nine and a hal... Fuck it, ten full coked up Chihuahuas.
The Lady hath spoken!