I don't know where to really begin.
Maybe it's the fact that I hold a special place in my heart for "nigh-unwatchable" crap, hence my unadulterated love for Power Rangers: The Movie, Mortal Kombat, Super Mario Bros. and Batman and Robin (of which I remain unflinching in my conviction that it's the better one of the first four films). Maybe the movie just caught me at a particular point in time when my brain and all its sensibilities simply decided to skip town altogether and went off to have a torrid romance without me knowing about it. Maybe I was just looking for something dumb to keep my mind occupied after being bombarded consecutively with ideas and premises impossible to ignore from other media (Torchwood, I'm looking especially at you, you bastard). Or maybe it really was a fun movie.
Either way, I enjoyed the hell out of this movie.
It was ridiculous, childish, predictable, drawn-out, incredibly immature, somewhat misogynistic and it clearly wasn't shy about its total lack of character development. It's Michael Bay. It's pure Michael Bay. It's everything we've come to know, and sometimes even love, from him and he didn't disappoint by "phoning in" his performance. The man delivered on the expectations placed on his shoulders with aplomb and I commend him for it.
We knew exactly what we were getting with this movie whether we liked it or not, so I decided to leave my brain at the door and just go with it.
Truth be told, and since I'm well-aware how close to blasphemy this might come off as, I'm choosing my words very carefully, I had more fun watching Transformers: Dark of the Moon than I did during the entirety of X-Men: First Class.
Now, don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved that film. My unabashed love and adulation for Jennifer Lawrence and Michael Fassbender notwithstanding, I considered X-Men to be a very thought-provoking, fun, character-driven drama disguised as a 60's Cold-War spy thriller for ambience (i.e. Ian Flemming on crack). It is, by all accounts and considerations, my favorite movie of the Summer, so far (still waiting if Captain America will be the one that clinches it).
Yet, as much fun as it was, Transformers had absolutely no expectations of me as an audience member, and I had none for it as well. The movie went by in a breeze and while I do attest to the length of the final act to be overblown, it didn't bother me. All I cared at that moment was that I was laughing hysterically at every turn, the action sequences were much easier to follow than in the previous two films and that Leonard Nimoy got to pander to his Trekkie audience by spouting that one classic line of his from The Wrath of Khan (if you've seen that one, you'll know it's coming here because the screenwriters telegraphed it from a mile away).
My one, true gripe is the very end of the film. If this is supposed to be the end of this trilogy (though I highly doubt we've seen the last of this highly-profitable franchise), I wished more effort was put into their send-off. Instead of a few more minutes of little character moments so the audience can wave at them as they sail off into the sunset, the film ends almost as soon as the action ends. Optimus Prime gets to speechify a little like it's become tradition for the past two films but you almost get the feeling Master Bay originally wanted to end it with a bang and had to settle for a whimper. So, might as well make it a very short whimper.
Regardless, for there to be genuine character arc resolutions, I'm assuming that, at least, the characters have to be more than plain caricatures. Unfortunately, we don't have anything resembling more than just that in this film. Fortunately, that's exactly why it works.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon is the very best-looking and loudest B-Movie you're likely to find anywhere on the market. The film looks fantastic, but it's dumber than every single plot of CSI: Miami put together. And I respect Bay for not even bothering to pretend to do otherwise.
I'd never buy it, and I'm sure I'm unlikely to watch it again, but I do recommend it. It's two-and-a-half solid hours of dumb fun. Leave your intellect at the door and enjoy the ride.
I've always hated the phrase "leave your brain at the door". I'm very fond of my brain and I'm not going to forgo it just because some filmmakers are too lazy and/or unable to do a decent movie.
ReplyDeleteIt's an interesting take on the movie, though.
Never said "leave your brain at the door," just your intellect. Slight difference that can get one stuck in an eternal loop of semantic arguments, but it works for me.
ReplyDeleteThis is the type of movie that you watch to pass the time, which is exactly the reason why I saw it. Had nothing but hours to kill before I went into work and there was nothing else to do. And because I had no expectations of being blown-away, not to mention a single iota of care whether it'd actually be a good film or not, I enjoyed it immensely.
I'm very fond of my brain too, as well as my intellect, and there are far better things to use it on than Transformers. To just go in, watch it and then bash it seems rather roundabout for me. Everybody's expecting it, and if I had hated it, I wouldn't have bothered to review it, simply because everybody already knows what that review would say. So there's no point to that.
It's a bad movie, yes. But it's one of those bad movies that you can enjoy for the simple pleasure of its own mindless-ness. There's nothing profound about it and there shouldn't be. It's Michael Bay. We know exactly what he's capable of delivering. I wouldn't call him lazy, though, because I do have to imagine that a lot of those incredibly prolonged action sequences must've been a veritable pain in the nether regions to pull off. Plus, the movie itself looks very elegant. Even for a two-and-a-half-hour long car commercial. ;)
So, yes, I left my intellect at the door, chose not to judge it on its obvious flaws and instead found myself having quite a good time and laughing hysterically at it.
The phrase "it's so bad, it's good" definitely applies here. :)
To sum up what he said: Dark Of The Moon = The Room.
ReplyDeleteI actually found a better example for my argument...
ReplyDeleteIf you want a GOOD 'leave your brain at the door' movie, go watch Crank again. Now that movie is fun.
I'm just never going to get behind a Transformers movie that doesn't star the Transformers.
If there's more LePoop and McDreamy than Optimus and Megatron, there's a problem.